maybe it happened

  • glimse@lemmy.world
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    1 hour ago

    I’m always suspicious of tweets where the author defeats a but this followup post has me pretty convinced of its inauthenticity

    No, I have literally never done that. I have never once in my life confused the two lol

    • blujan@sopuli.xyz
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      2 minutes ago

      I have sent a whatsapp message to someone when I intended to send a teams message to someone else, but this one seems unlikely

  • bthest@lemmy.world
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    2 hours ago

    It it me or does AI reliance/psychosis disproportionately affect men? And by disproportionately I mean virtually every single one.

    • El care ñá@feddit.cl
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      56 minutes ago

      What are you saying? All men are AI-psychotic or all AI-psychotic people are men? Either way it’s wrong.

      The first claim is disproved by this community. Plenty of men here.

      The second claim is disproved by r/myboyfriendisai. Plenty of women there.

    • MehBlah@lemmy.world
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      42 minutes ago

      Its just you. I don’t use it and as far as I know I’m a man. I may have missed a memo though.

    • MJKee9@lemmy.world
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      2 hours ago

      In my field I see a lot of AI reliance with men, and to a lesser extent with women. I don’t know if the difference between the sexes is actual or observation bias.

  • x00z@lemmy.world
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    4 hours ago

    It’s a good idea though. You write down 6 things and throw a dice. You’ll even hear “AI” whispered in the wind.

    • LastYearsIrritant@sopuli.xyz
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      29 minutes ago

      If someone’s first thought to make an important decision is to ask a computer to do it for them, I’d cancel too.

      I want to know what YOU think, not what a clanker thinks you should think.

  • RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world
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    7 hours ago

    Just talking with someone the other day and in the conversation they said “I asked ChatGPT…” about something being discussed. I immediately ceased to give weight to their input. Either they thought they were flexing by namedropping AI or too lazy to do their own thinking. Either way, they instantly lost me.

    • StupidBrotherInLaw@lemmy.world
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      3 hours ago

      I tried AI again the other day, just for a yearly check in. Gemini’s Pro model was more apologetic than ever when it changed the basis of its narrative SIX TIMES in seven prompts.

      I was simply asking it to describe the counterweight mechanism in a piece of common machinery. It changed from industrial gas struts, to no support and being too heavy to handle, to two large springs (correct), back to no support but now because it’s feather light, and so on. I simply kept asking it to stop fabricating answers and to verify from a parts diagram, the URL for which I provided. Its apologies and explanations grew longer and more elaborate each time.

      We had good laughs, but sorry about the power and water usage.

      • Herbal Gamer@sh.itjust.works
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        14 minutes ago

        had a similar thing happen with something pretty simple I had to contact my bank about. After about 12 tries of it not understanding I finally got a human who got it in the first reply.

  • Spezi@feddit.org
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    13 hours ago

    Three years ago when ChatGPT was starting to trickle down to the boomers, I was at a wedding where the brides father held a speech. It was the most generic nonsense I have ever heard and at the end he proudly said that this speech was written with ChatGPT. He wasn‘t even embarrassed.

    • vrek@programming.dev
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      1 hour ago

      Ok, that’s insane. If you don’t have enough feelings or love for your child to write a speech for their wedding… Then don’t give a fucking speech at all.

    • ninjabard@lemmy.world
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      11 hours ago

      My dad just used some form of AI to hallucinate a “song” for Mom and their anniversary. He got real mad when I said I didn’t want to hear it. Both Mom and I have degrees in music and play an instrument or two. He still couldn’t figure out why it mattered.

  • FreddiesLantern@leminal.space
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    14 hours ago

    Biggest mistake: showing her you don’t care.

    If you want to win anyone’s heart you gotta be vulnerable, put in some effort that comes from within yourself. And that’s scary, because making the wrong choice can backfire.

    But flat out saying “have some fancy schmamcy chatgtp on the house ma’am” is the equivalent of “personality? Me? Nah.”.

    Using AI for stuff like this => IS <= disgusting, most people just haven’t caught on yet.

    • mnemonicmonkeys@sh.itjust.works
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      4 hours ago

      It’s like Facebook chat asking if I want to summarize a conversation with my friends with AI. Mf’er, I spend time with these people because I enjoy it. Why in the hell would I want to run my conversation with them through a slop filter?

    • ericwdhs@discuss.online
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      3 hours ago

      Just curious. I realize this community is probably the wrong place to ask, but how would you feel about someone using AI to brainstorm some date ideas but still doing the actual selection and planning themselves (and not bragging about using AI as something to admire)? To me, it doesn’t feel too different from doing a web search of “date ideas” and working off whatever lists you get.

      • mushroommunk@lemmy.today
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        3 hours ago

        Dates should help you get to know each other. They should be things you already enjoy doing, or places you like to go, or want to see if you like. Expressions of who you are.

        Asking the AI at all is a large part of the problem because it screams you have no personality and no preferences and think dating is some Hollywood romcom style big showy thing that it’s not and shouldn’t be. Every happily married couple I know goes on simple dates and always has. You shouldn’t need a list of date ideas. Period.

        My wife and I went to her favourite restaurant for our first date, our most recent date was walking through a bookstore and showing each other fun covers. One of my best friends, his first date with his wife was just hanging out at a local park eating sandwiches and their most recent date was learning to make pierogi together. Things we enjoy or they enjoy. (Married about ten years for reference) Every happy couple I know has similar stories no matter how long they’ve been together. Even my 22 year old cousin.

        If you need a list of date ideas. Just write down the stuff you like to do, or want to try. Done.

        Anything bigger should be a special thing with someone and it should be special to you and your partner and looking for a list of other people’s ideas is the wrong move.

        • ericwdhs@discuss.online
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          3 hours ago

          Okay, thank you. I’m autistic, and social activities are very challenging for me in general, so it’s genuinely helpful to have examples that show the expectations can be low.

          • mushroommunk@lemmy.today
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            2 hours ago

            No worries but I should clarify a little bit though.

            Expectations can absolutely be high but the key is to find someone with the same expectations as you. I do know one couple who’s first date was skydiving and their wedding was a destination ski trip. The key is that that was who they both were before the relationship. Either one of them would not last in a relationship where dates are coffee shops and bookstores and such. It’s not “showy” relative to their usual selves.

            If your idea of a good time is visiting the local gardens, and your date likes butterflies, then you’ve got a first date. If your idea of a good time is a rock climbing gym and your date enjoys editing together videos, then build your first date around a GoPro and a climb.

            The lady in the original post met the guy in an art class, her expectation was probably to go get a coffee and visit a museum with his favourite local painting or something that they could talk about. Nothing fancy, just an expression of himself.

            • ericwdhs@discuss.online
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              2 hours ago

              Thanks again for being willing to provide all that. In my defense, I did say expectations “can be” low, not that they always would be. It might be a moot point anyway. I’m still working out earlier steps.

    • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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      6 hours ago

      I’ll go a different direction here: what you suggest for a first date is an opportunity to show how cool you are.

      I went on an amazing coffee date with a woman where she took me to a tiny coffee and chocolate shop that was amazing. Sure, most of why the date went great was that we clicked instantly and chatted for hours until we really had to go and that we both found each other very attractive, but the setting set the stage, I just don’t think it would’ve gone as well in a Starbucks.

      My first date with my wife she took me to the only lesbian bar in town then the next morning brunch at a popular cool taqueria. I remember thinking how she seemed so cool and in touch with the cool and fun parts of a city I’d been interested in since visiting occasionally in college.

      I’ve had multiple great first dates to just local Mexican restaurants, followed by a walk in a park. They tended to be with women who had families and thus limited time and money, that too is personality. It involved the collaboration of “hey do you like mexican?” And when we enjoyed the meal, “there’s a park nearby and I still have time, want to go for a walk”?

      All of these served as ways to show some personality and to establish a baseline for what you think a fun night out with your partner could be. The first girl and I didn’t enter a relationship because life got in the way shortly afterwards, so I can’t say how it would have gone. But for the moms, yeah dates were typically a cheap meal, a cheap or free experience, often involving walking, and constrained by the fact that their kids and husbands (polyamory not cheating) were their top priorities. With my wife, just as that first date, our nights out together often involve a bit too much at a queer bar followed by hours upon hours of talking and maybe a meal at a cool but cheap restaurant before or after.

      If you use chatgpt to decide on a first date plans I’m going to assume that 5 years ago you were the type to have a first date at fridays or applebees. And not because you really liked it, or thought it was a good value, but because it was a sit down restaurant nearby that you know is good enough and most people are fine with. It says a night out will be bland if anything, and probably the bare minimum. Fucking hell, asking “so what do you like to do for a first date?” is more interesting and charming than that, it at least implies that you’re either very considerate or looking for a partner to take the lead or make decisions.

    • T156@lemmy.world
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      12 hours ago

      You also should show a bit of yourself. Your own interests, preferences, etc. An AI cannot help with that, unless you are the AI.

      If someone wants an AI dinner date, they can make that up themselves.

      At worst, just outright ask them if you’re unsure, to see what they might be into. They’d likely appreciate the thought.

      • Aceticon@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        6 hours ago

        True. Could even be seen as a mature way of approaching relationships.

        As I see it, they both won from finding the mismatch of expectations so early.

        Kudos to him for it.

    • GrindingGears@lemmy.ca
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      24 hours ago

      I dunno, I mean I think AI is stupid too, but she could have gave the guy a chance. Explained that she didn’t like AI and the use of it, and valued creativity over it. Dating is already so stupid, like you have to be on guard about every little thing.

      Makes you wonder what else she’s this defensive about? Wore red instead of white, boom this lady is gone. Like Pepsi instead of Cola? She’s outty. Maybe it’s him that dodged the bullet…

          • 7101334@lemmy.world
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            1 hour ago

            You’re symping for the slop machine.

            All use of AI is bad (except medical stuff if you’re just too poor to see a doctor - bad idea, but if it’s all you have access to, I won’t knock you for it) and any use deserves to be socially punished.

        • GrindingGears@lemmy.ca
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          3 hours ago

          Don’t like…rational thought? I don’t like AI, which is kind of the whole point of this sub, isn’t it?

          I also don’t like when people jump to broad exaggerated conclusions over something stupid. It’s not like the guy was making her an AI sex bot, like even as much as I hate AI, this is basically using it as Google. Which would be fine, that’s about the most it’s useful for (and marginally at that).

          • 7101334@lemmy.world
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            1 hour ago

            No. No use of AI, which unnecessarily pollutes our only livable planet and consumes our limited supply of freshwater, is “fine”.

      • CyanideShotInjection@lemmy.world
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        23 hours ago

        To me, someone who doesn’t even care about planning something as simple as a date, it’s an indicator they won’t care about most thing in the relationship and will try to ChatGPT their problems away.

        • GrindingGears@lemmy.ca
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          1 hour ago

          And that’s fine. What are your thoughts on going home and screaming about it on social media and trying to farm that virtue?

        • GrindingGears@lemmy.ca
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          3 hours ago

          I mean maybe. I could see that to be the case, but it might also just be something sort of innocent. I tend to try to see the good in people when I can.

        • aramis87@fedia.io
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          23 hours ago

          I mean, the parameters for a first date are generally pretty simple and low-key. It’s generally type-of-food (lunch, dinner, coffee) plus type-of-activity (walk, movie, game-of-some-sort (bowling, axe throwing, whatever)). They’re using AI to accomplish a pretty simple task. Which means they’re also likely to offload harder tasks as well. I am not your mom, your secretary, your PA, your maid, your cook, your housekeeper, your personal shopper, etc, etc.

          • SybilVane@lemmy.ca
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            21 hours ago

            Yes but the purpose of the date isn’t just to go through the motions of a typical date. It’s to get to know each other. I expect a person to suggest a place they like, and that tells me something useful and opens the conversation.

            • MinnesotaGoddam@lemmy.world
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              14 hours ago

              Suppose someone suggests trying a new (to them at least) restaurant on a date? I guess that communicates something sordid.

              • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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                6 hours ago

                It says they’re adventurous and it says what sort of things (at least food wise) interest them. It also potentially indicates a vibe. “Hey, I’ve been hearing that an izakaya style place opened up, and I don’t think you can go wrong with beer and fried food, you want to try it out?” Compared to “I’ve heard really good things about Ethiopian food, but I’ve never had it. Want to be adventurous?” Or “Let’s grab a coffee. Here I’ll look up small coffee shops a reasonable distance from both of us.” Or even “Do you like Mexican food? I’ll see what options are nearby.”

                All of them say different things about the person and all of them are great ways to propose a plan for a date

      • Nonconfrontational@lemmy.ml
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        21 hours ago

        Nah, now he knows for next time. The point of a relationship is to get to know the other person, not the soulless imitation of whatever bullshit this program scraped off the internet.

        • GrindingGears@lemmy.ca
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          3 hours ago

          Ok but that’s also quite absurd. Have you ever googled anything to get an idea or used a GPS program when you were lost? That’s just about tantamount to that, I think he’s just someone that’s probably nervous and looking for ideas, wanting to impress a girl he’s interested in. There’s no need to turn this to 11 over something so innocuous.

          • Senal@programming.dev
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            21 hours ago

            Oh man, your mod history is exactly what one would expect from a nuanced take like that.

            Congrats on the consistency though, don’t often see dedication like that these days.

          • Nonconfrontational@lemmy.ml
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            20 hours ago

            Hahaha, did Cgpt form that opinion for you or did you shit it out all by yourself? Either way, congrats on putting your pants on today, big guy!

      • Luke@lemmy.ml
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        23 hours ago

        If someone needs/wants to use AI to do extremely simple things like plan their date activities, that’s a good indication that they are an exceedingly uninteresting and unengaging person overall. They can’t even do the simple things, so the hard stuff in life is going to be insurmountable and they’ll be a massive burden on their friends and partner(s).

        Where’s the incentive to “give them a chance” in this scenario? The books at home are the better option by far.

        • GrindingGears@lemmy.ca
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          2 hours ago

          I mean no one can force you to do something you don’t want, or can force you to have a certain opinion about something. But the difference here with you, I would assume anyways, that a) you didn’t make this up like this person probably did and b) you probably wouldn’t feel the need to go home and get on your soapbox and put that person on blast on your social media for it. That’s kind of stupid when you think about it. What if that guy or gal reads that? Great way to put someone down and hurt their feelings.

        • Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world
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          22 hours ago

          This reminds me of when I was a teenager, spending time chatting with multiple people simultaneously on MSN Messenger and AIM (man, how did I manage that?)

          There were some people who’d just say, “I’m bored.” That’s it. I never knew how to respond. I usually said something like, “Oh, that sucks.” But their conversations never went anywhere besides complaining about boredom, so I usually stopped talking pretty quick. I get the impression they were just looking to have me entertain them somehow, despite putting no effort into making it worth my while. Bruh, I’m having three other conversations about fascinating topics, catching up with a friend living in another continent, and participating in a group RPG, all without anybody whining that they can’t think of something to do. Step up or step out, your boredom isn’t my problem.

          • GrindingGears@lemmy.ca
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            2 hours ago

            I don’t think this would be the same as that. It’s one step before that. It’s basically like saying I’m looking at this persons status and name, and making broad assumptions without ever actually talking with them in any sort of detail.

            Now if they went on the date and then the person was using chat gpt or whatever for everything, or using it constantly, well then yeah that would be pretty dumb and a bit more tantamount to your example.

          • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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            5 hours ago

            A huge portion of the apps is just that. And I get it it’s awkward and it can be boring having the same conversation over and over. I sometimes am guilty of it too.

            But I suspect a lot of people don’t really actively engage with stuff enough to be able to be interesting. I’ve seen people blame consumptive hobbies (as opposed to productive ones), but hell tell me about the TV show you’ve been watching or the video game you’ve been playing. If you’re consuming it in a critical manner you can say “well I really like what they did with the villain here, it really touches on the theme of [x], though I think sometimes the messaging is inconsistent”. Or “Oh yeah I really love these mechanics, it’s been fun watching the series evolve”. Fucking hell tell me what you think about a YouTube video you recently watched. I think some people basically disassociate into entertainment.

            But yeah chatting without a prompt can be difficult, especially when not face to face. Getting to face to face relatively quickly is something I generally recommend people do while on the apps to minimize it. But also like, actually interact with life and the other person.

            • GrindingGears@lemmy.ca
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              2 hours ago

              It’s kind of hand in hand with our age of glut. Take Netflix for example, I can sit there for an hour, not actually watch anything, and just endlessly scroll through stuff, because there’s too much. Its the same with these dating app things, like people cease to be people and instead are just menus and choices and things essentially. It’s turned us all (myself included) into vapid empty beings. I just don’t think we are meant to be as connected with each other, as we are today. I don’t think it’s healthy for our long term prosperity.

          • jtrek@startrek.website
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            22 hours ago

            A lot of people seem to engage with dating with that same energy. You match, they write “hey”, and then wait for you to entertain them. A lot of social things are garbage-in, garbage-out.

          • Lojcs@piefed.social
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            13 hours ago

            Sorry but you seem to be arrogant about how sociable other people naturally are. Good for you if you had many friends to do interesting things with and never felt bored, but I find it hurtful that you think not having those traits is to be shunned. You don’t owe internet strangers entertainment, but is it such a crime that you need to rant about it decades after the fact?

            Edit: Wording

            • ZDL@lazysoci.al
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              11 hours ago

              The trait to be shunned in that is the trait of pushing your entertainment off on others.

              When someone’s entire engagement is “I’m bored”, the unspoken follow-up is “entertain me”. This generation loves to go on and on and on about “emotional labour”. Well guess what: that unspoken “entertain me” is, get this, emotional labour.

              Perhaps the people who say “I’m bored” should be told what I was told when I was single-digit aged: “There’s no such thing as being bored, only being boring.”

              • Lojcs@piefed.social
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                10 hours ago

                You’re reading malintent into an innocent phrase. They could be subtly asking to be let in a friend group or just venting. There are many ways you could respond to such a sentence besides giving them entertainment.

                If you don’t have the slight bit of emotional availability to engage with them just don’t. It’s cringe to then go ranting about the time a boring person dared engaging with you and you stopped talking to them because you had so many friends.

                Edit: To make my point clear, it’s not that one has to engage the person in question. But focusing on how doing so affects them without a hint of understanding that it’s the other person clearly in need of something is an indication of their own emotional immaturity. If you help someone in need you can brag. If you don’t because you don’t have the resources to help nobody can blame you, but you don’t get to be upset they asked.

          • shalafi@lemmy.world
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            21 hours ago

            That’s all quite different. Been there done that, dropped out. But judging someone over a petty thing like this is petty in itself. Maybe he’s not even a fan of AI, just thought it would be a cute idea to fly by her. Had I received an info sheet on my wife’s background and beliefs, I would never had responded to her.

        • Not_mikey@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          21 hours ago

          How is this different then googling date ideas and clicking a listacle? Effort wise it’s about the same and you could make the same argument on their reliance on Google/Internet.

          It seems that Internet dependence has become accepted as the norm while AI dependence is still new enough that there are people who don’t regularly use it and thus feel superior for their independence in this one specific area.

          • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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            5 hours ago

            Honestly the listacle is a bit cringe if you’re at an age where most people can be expected to have been on a few dates. There’s a huge difference between searching for coffee shops/museums/whatever else in your area or even “things to do in x area” and searching for first date ideas. The former says you have a structure in mind, but you don’t necessarily know the specific locations, the latter says you have no idea and didn’t think the first source to ask is the person you’re going on a date with.

            And as for llms vs general internet use goes? Yeah using llms is a turn off. I find the ability to write for oneself and process and analyze text for themselves important traits in a partner. What I’ve seen from llm users is that they often cede those skills.

          • RedstoneValley@sh.itjust.works
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            20 hours ago

            It doesn’t even matter if AI or not. The point is, if you’re too dumb/lazy/busy/whatever to come up with an idea yourself, at least don’t tell your date that you are.

            • GrindingGears@lemmy.ca
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              2 hours ago

              I guess not, hey?

              What do all us unoriginal people do then? Just curious? I mean dating in my day was a movie or a walk somewhere with a Starbucks or whatever. This was before texting and dating apps though. We definitely still struggled with this question, and I feel like I probably bored the shit out of a few girls. No doubt about it. Some of us are just boring though.

        • shalafi@lemmy.world
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          21 hours ago

          If someone makes a judgment call on something so petty as this, that’s an indicator they’re a picky pain in the ass. God knows what she will next find offensive.

          • GrindingGears@lemmy.ca
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            3 hours ago

            That’s kind of my thing here too, and she seems pretty smug about it (if it’s even real - people exaggerate on social media). That would be a major turn off for me anyways. I’ve been off the market so long that I’m not even sure I’d ever be able to do this successfully anyways - the apps and all the other bullshit. Dating was hard enough in my time, let alone that noise.

        • Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world
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          22 hours ago

          I’d say she already gave him a chance - she said “yes,” after all. He was so close, he just needed to use his own brain and put a little personal effort into planning the date. He could’ve even been honest about not knowing what to do and said something like, “I’d like to have some of your input to make our plans. I was thinking of a movie, but there’s a museum not far from me. The park’s really nice this time of year, too, if you’d prefer to be outdoors. Do any of those sound good to you? Do you have any ideas to add?”

          I mean, that’s what I’d do. It’s not hard to think of things if you know a person a bit, but if you don’t know them well enough yet to know what they’d like, that’s okay too! Make it clear you want something you’d both enjoy and turn it into a discussion. No AI is going to know what she likes better than she does, so just go to the source.

          And if that’s too much effort, then perhaps dating in itself would be too much effort.

        • shalafi@lemmy.world
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          21 hours ago

          No one owes anyone a chance, but one should take chances. This is Dating 101. If someone rejects me over some petty issue like this, they’re going to reject me later for something equally petty. And dating gets hard as we age and take on baggage from past relationships. I only drew the line at MAGA, racism, shit like that. Hell, my wife still attributes some of my thoughts and actions as if I’m her ex.

          And who says he was thoughtless? Maybe he found the idea cute and wanted to fly it by her? He’s likely not in a social group that hates AI like we do here. Had a date propose we meet at the antique/thrift mall. One could take that as she’s poor or cheap or whatever. Her reasoning when we met? “People on first dates shouldn’t spend money on each other until they catch a vibe.” (My words, hers were better but I forget.)

          tl;dr: Too much room to misinterpret someone when you first meet, especially before a first date. If they seem attractive enough in the ways you seek, give them a chance. You owe it to yourself, not them.

            • GrindingGears@lemmy.ca
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              1 hour ago

              It sure does, and you come with lots of baggage. I’m quite sure her closet has just as many skeletons as mine does.

            • shalafi@lemmy.world
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              20 hours ago

              Well aware! I was dating hot and heavy at 49-52, been there, done that. But we should be aware that our aging assumptions and baggage can hold us back. Take a chance or die alone, whatever floats one’s boat, that’s their call.

      • TowardsTheFuture@lemmy.zip
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        23 hours ago

        AI is a little different than coke vs Pepsi dude but sure.

        There are for sure things where you can know you’re not compatible with someone and being dependent on AI can be a pretty big flag. It’s not her job to fix him just so he’d dateable.

      • AFK BRB Chocolate (CA version)@lemmy.ca
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        22 hours ago

        For me, I’m enough against the casual use of AI that someone who does what he did is like someone who has significantly different political views than me. AI data centers take obscene amounts of energy and water. I’m very much in favor of, for instance, machine learning applications being used to identify diseases in pathology slides. That’s something that can help humanity to an extent that it’s likely worth the resources. But to suggest plans for a date? That’s nauseating.

        • GrindingGears@lemmy.ca
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          It’s also an opportunity to take the time to explain that to someone then. Your points are all valid, don’t get me wrong. But what’s changed in the world, is everyone just immediately heads for their position or stance, and then feels the need to defend it like it’s a blood sport. It’s why we are in the state of the world that we are in, and I think it’s mainly social media and really bad powerful interests that’s done that to us. Only those folks win when we get like this. Explain, rationalize and get to know people, and their side. Appreciate their side and have an honest debate/conversation then. Some people are just pieces of shit, and there’s no getting that to them, and I mean maybe that’s the case here too even. But figure that out instead of just jumping off a cliff and assuming, right?

          • AFK BRB Chocolate (CA version)@lemmy.ca
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            2 hours ago

            I personally would probably tell the other person why I’m cancelling on the date, yes.

            And while I broadly agree with your point, the fact of the matter is that we have become very polarized, to the point where often discussion is pointless. For instance, I’m just not going to bother explaining my views on trans rights or immigration to someone wearing a MAGA hat. That’s an emblem of someone who has become so entrenched in views that are the opposite of mine that is not worth discussing. Likewise, I don’t care to hear anything they have to say on the matter.

      • Tippy@sh.itjust.works
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        22 hours ago

        No one has to do anything or is obligated to give someone a chance at the early level of dating implied in this image. At that point, you are interacting with someone you do not know and it is socially acceptable for either party to end things clearly if that is what feels right and comfortable for them. AI usage is not some simple ethically clean topic akin to choosing a favorite soda like you claim, and it’s weird that you even tried to compare those things. Having strong opinions on that topic, or any other major controversial topic, and choosing not to engage with someone due to differing views on that topic, is fine and expected.

        You claiming dating is stupid, that you feel defensive about it and have to be on edge, and then victim blaming the woman in this scenario for doing nothing wrong all come to together to paint a really unhealthy picture. I sincerely hope you can work through what you have going on and, if you so choose, find someone right for you that makes the relationship feel rewarding.

      • jumjummy@lemmy.world
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        20 hours ago

        Remember that Lemmy, and this sub in particular, is absolutely rabidly anti-AI. It’s like the Jellyfin vs Plex thing dialed up to 111

        • GrindingGears@lemmy.ca
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          3 hours ago

          I’m anti-AI too, but this is kind of absurd for sure. It’s like anything else special interest I guess. If you type I like four strokes and don’t really miss two strokes into a dirtbike sub, those people all get like this too.

        • psx_crab@lemmy.zip
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          15 hours ago

          Uhh yeah the name of the sub is fuck_AI, who would’ve think people here hate AI for what it is.

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        21 hours ago

        Agreed. Not liking LLMs is fine (and might make for an interesting discussion topic over dinner!), but this is petty. She was looking for an excuse to reject before being rejected, or maybe wasn’t very attracted to him to begin with.

        • GrindingGears@lemmy.ca
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          3 hours ago

          It would kind of seem that way to me too. If this is even real, social media is wild for people just absolutely making shit up and then making themselves the victims of their own imaginary bullshit. I’ve come to hate social media as much as AI, even though I’m hopelessly addicted to it just like everyone else. Glad I didn’t grow up in a world where I had to date with all this bullshit and noise.

  • heartSagan5@lemmy.zip
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    20 hours ago

    Nah, fuck that guy. Even I’d avoid using AI for planning a date because she isn’t dating the AI. Also, it indicates he’ll use her. Definitely avoided a bad apple.

    • Raiderkev@lemmy.world
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      15 hours ago

      A colleague of mine is trying to run a tech startup - some slop based AI garbage for healthcare. He’s a parent at my kid’s school. The school has been doing a pasta dinner fundraiser for over 3 decades. This dude is one of the heads of a PTA type group. This year he made the decision to bake the pasta instead of boiling it because he asked chatgpt how to make pasta for a lot of people. It came out fine, but it saved 0 time, and tasted just as mediocre as the year prior. Why would you contribute to the environmental destruction and waste of electricity that is AI just to ask how to fucking cook pasta? He went on this whole rant about how he would have never had such a great idea were it not for AI. The man is clearly part of the problem.

      • Echo Dot@feddit.uk
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        13 hours ago

        All that the AI will have done will be to have pulled the information off some website. You could have just googled this and got the same result.

  • GhostFace@lemmy.today
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    15 hours ago

    At least he admitted to it I guess. Still would have done the same but dating apps are infested with people using ai to talk for them and you don’t realize until you notice them say something really offputting.

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    4 hours ago

    This feels similar to if you are a vegan/vegetarian and the person asking to go to a steak house. Yeah you are fully within your rights to tell that person to fuck off and be done with it, but if it were me I’d just suggest a different place.

    Most people are eating meat / using AI because it’s cheap, simple and normal and they don’t really know or think about the harms. If I bring up the harms on the date and they dismiss them then I’d probably move on, but if they seemed open to them, even if they ate meat that date, I may continue to date them and try and push them to be vegetarian.

    I know many people who have become vegetarian because of their partner, if I can get my partner to eat less / no meat then that’s a good thing for the environment/animal wellbeing etc.

    • Don Piano@feddit.org
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      4 hours ago

      You’re correct about the equivalence of meat eaters and chatbot users, but going in with “I’ll fix em” is also a shitty way of conducting personal relationships.

    • Hideakikarate@sh.itjust.works
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      15 hours ago

      I don’t know if you should go into a relationship with the intent to change them. You should enjoy them for them, not who you could make them.

      • Not_mikey@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        4 hours ago

        A good relationship, both romantic and platonic, should be about nourishing each other to develop and grow together. It shouldn’t rely solely on how they are for a specific moment in time because people aren’t perfect, they change, you change and the beauty of a relationship is changing for the good for each other and developing together.

        If the other person isn’t developing the same way as you and you’re on different paths, then it may be time to end the relationship, but to make that assessment you’ll need to understand where they’re going and why. That’s going to require talking to someone and getting to know them a bit, not dismissing them for a single sin.

        Again she’s fully within her rights to say fuck off to anyone who doesn’t match her standards and hold out for her true match that checks all the boxes, but if she wants to see that beautiful part of a relationship where you check off a new box together then she should give someone a chance.

        • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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          6 hours ago

          I generally agree with you, but I think if you’re going into the first date with notes you need to really be interested. The pre first date stage is about seeing if you’re interested enough to spend the time/money on it. Too high standards can absolutely be a problem leading to loneliness, but “I’m not sure if I’m interested, but yeah sure I’ll give it a shot” is a common place to be before a first date because both sides are awkwardly trying to put their best foot forward, but don’t have much to go on and they don’t necessarily know if they have much chemistry. If you go in no longer interested you’re wasting your time because you’re probably not going to change your mind.

          So yeah if she had been super excited, it’s silly to cancel over this. Likewise if her dating pool is small or filled with particularly bad options. But if she was just giving it a shot and lost her interest then I don’t blame her.

      • r1veRRR@feddit.org
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        12 hours ago

        Not necessarily change them. You don’t really know who they are yet, and they don’t know what you care about yet. This is more about giving them a chance to show they care about you. They can only do that if they know what you care about.

    • MinnesotaGoddam@lemmy.world
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      14 hours ago

      I know a great steakhouse with phenomenal vegan dishes, but like I let my friends know about the vegan quarter of the menu if they have diet restrictions that you would think precludes steakhouses.

      I’m not taking a vegan to Schmidt’s Palace of Meat if they don’t have a decent vegan menu. I think the only vegan thing they have is smoked corn.

      I know many people who have become vegetarian because of their partner

      My wife and I have specific diet restrictions. Mine is uncommon, hers is not. She gave up the foods that would force me to bleach the whole damn kitchen every fucking day if she kept some in the fridge. Her restriction doesn’t send her to the hospital but I give her the same respect she gives me and don’t eat those foods at home. Likewise she gets her [food that causes me to die] and I get my [food that makes her moderately ill] at restaurants. And we don’t bring those leftovers (if there are any) home. They go straight in the staff fridge at our respective workplaces. That’s just what we do though.

      • Echo Dot@feddit.uk
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        13 hours ago

        I do quite intensely dislike going to restaurants being told oh it’s fine they have vegetarian options and the vegetarian option turns out to be salad.

        If anyone wanted me to go to a primarily meet-based restaurant and they did ostensibly have a vegan/vegetarian menu I’d want to look at it first, to confirm they actually have options other than all the vegetables on a plate.

        • MinnesotaGoddam@lemmy.world
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          12 hours ago

          oh yeah, same here. i’m poring over the online menu to make sure it’s safe for me to eat, i might as well make it easy for the folk i’m inviting and text a link