This feels similar to if you are a vegan/vegetarian and the person asking to go to a steak house. Yeah you are fully within your rights to tell that person to fuck off and be done with it, but if it were me I’d just suggest a different place.
Most people are eating meat / using AI because it’s cheap, simple and normal and they don’t really know or think about the harms. If I bring up the harms on the date and they dismiss them then I’d probably move on, but if they seemed open to them, even if they ate meat that date, I may continue to date them and try and push them to be vegetarian.
I know many people who have become vegetarian because of their partner, if I can get my partner to eat less / no meat then that’s a good thing for the environment/animal wellbeing etc.
A good relationship, both romantic and platonic, should be about nourishing each other to develop and grow together. It shouldn’t rely solely on how they are for a specific moment in time because people aren’t perfect, they change, you change and the beauty of a relationship is changing for the good for each other and developing together.
If the other person isn’t developing the same way as you and you’re on different paths, then it may be time to end the relationship, but to make that assessment you’ll need to understand where they’re going and why. That’s going to require talking to someone and getting to know them a bit, not dismissing them for a single sin.
Again she’s fully within her rights to say fuck off to anyone who doesn’t match her standards and hold out for her true match that checks all the boxes, but if she wants to see that beautiful part of a relationship where you check off a new box together then she should give someone a chance.
I generally agree with you, but I think if you’re going into the first date with notes you need to really be interested. The pre first date stage is about seeing if you’re interested enough to spend the time/money on it. Too high standards can absolutely be a problem leading to loneliness, but “I’m not sure if I’m interested, but yeah sure I’ll give it a shot” is a common place to be before a first date because both sides are awkwardly trying to put their best foot forward, but don’t have much to go on and they don’t necessarily know if they have much chemistry. If you go in no longer interested you’re wasting your time because you’re probably not going to change your mind.
So yeah if she had been super excited, it’s silly to cancel over this. Likewise if her dating pool is small or filled with particularly bad options. But if she was just giving it a shot and lost her interest then I don’t blame her.
Not necessarily change them. You don’t really know who they are yet, and they don’t know what you care about yet. This is more about giving them a chance to show they care about you. They can only do that if they know what you care about.
You’re correct about the equivalence of meat eaters and chatbot users, but going in with “I’ll fix em” is also a shitty way of conducting personal relationships.
I suppose, but the alternative is just shutting them down like in the OP.
I learn plenty from the friends that I keep. I don’t think it’s wrong to expect that your friends will probably make you a better person, and that for it to work, you have to contribute to that project too.
I know a great steakhouse with phenomenal vegan dishes, but like I let my friends know about the vegan quarter of the menu if they have diet restrictions that you would think precludes steakhouses.
I’m not taking a vegan to Schmidt’s Palace of Meat if they don’t have a decent vegan menu. I think the only vegan thing they have is smoked corn.
I know many people who have become vegetarian because of their partner
My wife and I have specific diet restrictions. Mine is uncommon, hers is not. She gave up the foods that would force me to bleach the whole damn kitchen every fucking day if she kept some in the fridge. Her restriction doesn’t send her to the hospital but I give her the same respect she gives me and don’t eat those foods at home. Likewise she gets her [food that causes me to die] and I get my [food that makes her moderately ill] at restaurants. And we don’t bring those leftovers (if there are any) home. They go straight in the staff fridge at our respective workplaces. That’s just what we do though.
I do quite intensely dislike going to restaurants being told oh it’s fine they have vegetarian options and the vegetarian option turns out to be salad.
If anyone wanted me to go to a primarily meet-based restaurant and they did ostensibly have a vegan/vegetarian menu I’d want to look at it first, to confirm they actually have options other than all the vegetables on a plate.
oh yeah, same here. i’m poring over the online menu to make sure it’s safe for me to eat, i might as well make it easy for the folk i’m inviting and text a link
Good freaking luck. Have you seen how unavailable that stuff is these days? Republicans fucked up it’s manufacturing so bad. Most people I know are switching to Vyvanse or Ritalin with mixed results.
This feels similar to if you are a vegan/vegetarian and the person asking to go to a steak house. Yeah you are fully within your rights to tell that person to fuck off and be done with it, but if it were me I’d just suggest a different place.
Most people are eating meat / using AI because it’s cheap, simple and normal and they don’t really know or think about the harms. If I bring up the harms on the date and they dismiss them then I’d probably move on, but if they seemed open to them, even if they ate meat that date, I may continue to date them and try and push them to be vegetarian.
I know many people who have become vegetarian because of their partner, if I can get my partner to eat less / no meat then that’s a good thing for the environment/animal wellbeing etc.
I don’t know if you should go into a relationship with the intent to change them. You should enjoy them for them, not who you could make them.
Yeah “I’ll change him/her” is just a good way of ending up with two miserable people.
A good relationship, both romantic and platonic, should be about nourishing each other to develop and grow together. It shouldn’t rely solely on how they are for a specific moment in time because people aren’t perfect, they change, you change and the beauty of a relationship is changing for the good for each other and developing together.
If the other person isn’t developing the same way as you and you’re on different paths, then it may be time to end the relationship, but to make that assessment you’ll need to understand where they’re going and why. That’s going to require talking to someone and getting to know them a bit, not dismissing them for a single sin.
Again she’s fully within her rights to say fuck off to anyone who doesn’t match her standards and hold out for her true match that checks all the boxes, but if she wants to see that beautiful part of a relationship where you check off a new box together then she should give someone a chance.
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I generally agree with you, but I think if you’re going into the first date with notes you need to really be interested. The pre first date stage is about seeing if you’re interested enough to spend the time/money on it. Too high standards can absolutely be a problem leading to loneliness, but “I’m not sure if I’m interested, but yeah sure I’ll give it a shot” is a common place to be before a first date because both sides are awkwardly trying to put their best foot forward, but don’t have much to go on and they don’t necessarily know if they have much chemistry. If you go in no longer interested you’re wasting your time because you’re probably not going to change your mind.
So yeah if she had been super excited, it’s silly to cancel over this. Likewise if her dating pool is small or filled with particularly bad options. But if she was just giving it a shot and lost her interest then I don’t blame her.
Not necessarily change them. You don’t really know who they are yet, and they don’t know what you care about yet. This is more about giving them a chance to show they care about you. They can only do that if they know what you care about.
That still sounds like you’re just planning to give them an ultimatum
“I can fix him” big energy
You’re correct about the equivalence of meat eaters and chatbot users, but going in with “I’ll fix em” is also a shitty way of conducting personal relationships.
I suppose, but the alternative is just shutting them down like in the OP.
I learn plenty from the friends that I keep. I don’t think it’s wrong to expect that your friends will probably make you a better person, and that for it to work, you have to contribute to that project too.
I know a great steakhouse with phenomenal vegan dishes, but like I let my friends know about the vegan quarter of the menu if they have diet restrictions that you would think precludes steakhouses.
I’m not taking a vegan to Schmidt’s Palace of Meat if they don’t have a decent vegan menu. I think the only vegan thing they have is smoked corn.
My wife and I have specific diet restrictions. Mine is uncommon, hers is not. She gave up the foods that would force me to bleach the whole damn kitchen every fucking day if she kept some in the fridge. Her restriction doesn’t send her to the hospital but I give her the same respect she gives me and don’t eat those foods at home. Likewise she gets her [food that causes me to die] and I get my [food that makes her moderately ill] at restaurants. And we don’t bring those leftovers (if there are any) home. They go straight in the staff fridge at our respective workplaces. That’s just what we do though.
I do quite intensely dislike going to restaurants being told oh it’s fine they have vegetarian options and the vegetarian option turns out to be salad.
If anyone wanted me to go to a primarily meet-based restaurant and they did ostensibly have a vegan/vegetarian menu I’d want to look at it first, to confirm they actually have options other than all the vegetables on a plate.
The option is salad, and so often all/most of the salads have meat in them…
oh yeah, same here. i’m poring over the online menu to make sure it’s safe for me to eat, i might as well make it easy for the folk i’m inviting and text a link
…a palace of meat, you say?
It’s in Lockhart Texas and has a different name. Eat anywhere there and you’ll be delighted
Wall of text but true and real
Mate, you ain’t seen walls of text. That’s three reasonably sized paragraphs. Some comments go way longer than that.
He edited it to format it im being framed, there weren’t any paragraph seperations before
Fair enough then.
Still, I’ve seen bigger walls.
Attention span deficits hits hard these days
This sentence wraps onto the next line, I ain’t reading all that, my head will explode.
#TikTokBrain
It’s like 5 sentences.
We need to start putting Adderall in the water
Good freaking luck. Have you seen how unavailable that stuff is these days? Republicans fucked up it’s manufacturing so bad. Most people I know are switching to Vyvanse or Ritalin with mixed results.