If someone needs/wants to use AI to do extremely simple things like plan their date activities, that’s a good indication that they are an exceedingly uninteresting and unengaging person overall. They can’t even do the simple things, so the hard stuff in life is going to be insurmountable and they’ll be a massive burden on their friends and partner(s).
Where’s the incentive to “give them a chance” in this scenario? The books at home are the better option by far.
This reminds me of when I was a teenager, spending time chatting with multiple people simultaneously on MSN Messenger and AIM (man, how did I manage that?)
There were some people who’d just say, “I’m bored.” That’s it. I never knew how to respond. I usually said something like, “Oh, that sucks.” But their conversations never went anywhere besides complaining about boredom, so I usually stopped talking pretty quick. I get the impression they were just looking to have me entertain them somehow, despite putting no effort into making it worth my while. Bruh, I’m having three other conversations about fascinating topics, catching up with a friend living in another continent, and participating in a group RPG, all without anybody whining that they can’t think of something to do. Step up or step out, your boredom isn’t my problem.
A huge portion of the apps is just that. And I get it it’s awkward and it can be boring having the same conversation over and over. I sometimes am guilty of it too.
But I suspect a lot of people don’t really actively engage with stuff enough to be able to be interesting. I’ve seen people blame consumptive hobbies (as opposed to productive ones), but hell tell me about the TV show you’ve been watching or the video game you’ve been playing. If you’re consuming it in a critical manner you can say “well I really like what they did with the villain here, it really touches on the theme of [x], though I think sometimes the messaging is inconsistent”. Or “Oh yeah I really love these mechanics, it’s been fun watching the series evolve”. Fucking hell tell me what you think about a YouTube video you recently watched. I think some people basically disassociate into entertainment.
But yeah chatting without a prompt can be difficult, especially when not face to face. Getting to face to face relatively quickly is something I generally recommend people do while on the apps to minimize it. But also like, actually interact with life and the other person.
It’s kind of hand in hand with our age of glut. Take Netflix for example, I can sit there for an hour, not actually watch anything, and just endlessly scroll through stuff, because there’s too much. Its the same with these dating app things, like people cease to be people and instead are just menus and choices and things essentially. It’s turned us all (myself included) into vapid empty beings. I just don’t think we are meant to be as connected with each other, as we are today. I don’t think it’s healthy for our long term prosperity.
A lot of people seem to engage with dating with that same energy. You match, they write “hey”, and then wait for you to entertain them. A lot of social things are garbage-in, garbage-out.
I don’t think this would be the same as that. It’s one step before that. It’s basically like saying I’m looking at this persons status and name, and making broad assumptions without ever actually talking with them in any sort of detail.
Now if they went on the date and then the person was using chat gpt or whatever for everything, or using it constantly, well then yeah that would be pretty dumb and a bit more tantamount to your example.
Sorry but you seem to be arrogant about how sociable other people naturally are. Good for you if you had many friends to do interesting things with and never felt bored, but I find it hurtful that you think not having those traits is to be shunned. You don’t owe internet strangers entertainment, but is it such a crime that you need to rant about it decades after the fact?
I never had many friends to do interesting things with. I talked to people online when it was still new and shiny, and I was a teenager, with the energy to socialize in a way I sure can’t today. It was a different world - sometimes people would make a group MSN chat with a number of people and we’d just get to know each other through those mutual friends, who lived all around the world. Rarely did I have a group in person to do things with. I spent a lot of time alone, cultivating my own interests and skills. I didn’t “shun” anyone, I just had to choose how to spend my limited time and energy after school. Would you rather talk with someone that responds to your ideas and thoughtfully considers them, or someone who brushes everything off just to come back to saying, “I’m bored” no matter how much you try to engage them?
It’s also strange to categorize what I said as a “rant.” I was reminded of something from the past and I mentioned it in a comment that was along the same lines, remembering how I felt about it at the time. That’s hardly a rant.
I understand, I see that you had no bad intentions. As an asocial and regularly bored kid myself (even if not in this particular manner) it just made me sad that I might be remembered by people in a negative light even decades later
Aww, I understand. I was an extremely awkward kid myself and have had those worries. If it helps, most people don’t recall the minutiae of our uncomfortable moments, if they remember anything about them at all.
Also, I still value the person who told me he was bored all the time. I wouldn’t have kept him on my friends’ list if I didn’t. I don’t talk to him today, but that’s because of diverging life paths and the distance it creates. If we’d still lived around each other, perhaps we’d still be in contact.
Either way, I try not to worry about what people thought of me as a teen. I’ve grown, they’ve grown (hopefully), and if they did then I imagine even they look back at their teenage selves and cringe. You’re not the same person you used to be, and you should be proud of the strides you’ve taken to come this far. ♥️
The trait to be shunned in that is the trait of pushing your entertainment off on others.
When someone’s entire engagement is “I’m bored”, the unspoken follow-up is “entertain me”. This generation loves to go on and on and on about “emotional labour”. Well guess what: that unspoken “entertain me” is, get this, emotional labour.
Perhaps the people who say “I’m bored” should be told what I was told when I was single-digit aged: “There’s no such thing as being bored, only being boring.”
You’re reading malintent into an innocent phrase. They could be subtly asking to be let in a friend group or just venting. There are many ways you could respond to such a sentence besides giving them entertainment.
If you don’t have the slight bit of emotional availability to engage with them just don’t. It’s cringe to then go ranting about the time a boring person dared engaging with you and you stopped talking to them because you had so many friends.
Edit: To make my point clear, it’s not that one has to engage the person in question. But focusing on how doing so affects them without a hint of understanding that it’s the other person clearly in need of something is an indication of their own emotional immaturity. If you help someone in need you can brag. If you don’t because you don’t have the resources to help nobody can blame you, but you don’t get to be upset they asked.
That’s all quite different. Been there done that, dropped out. But judging someone over a petty thing like this is petty in itself. Maybe he’s not even a fan of AI, just thought it would be a cute idea to fly by her. Had I received an info sheet on my wife’s background and beliefs, I would never had responded to her.
I mean no one can force you to do something you don’t want, or can force you to have a certain opinion about something. But the difference here with you, I would assume anyways, that a) you didn’t make this up like this person probably did and b) you probably wouldn’t feel the need to go home and get on your soapbox and put that person on blast on your social media for it. That’s kind of stupid when you think about it. What if that guy or gal reads that? Great way to put someone down and hurt their feelings.
How is this different then googling date ideas and clicking a listacle? Effort wise it’s about the same and you could make the same argument on their reliance on Google/Internet.
It seems that Internet dependence has become accepted as the norm while AI dependence is still new enough that there are people who don’t regularly use it and thus feel superior for their independence in this one specific area.
How is this different then googling date ideas and clicking a listacle?
If I was about to go on a date with somebody and I said “Okay, I did a Google search for date ideas and I found a listicle” I would expect to be ghosted, too. Probably preceded by some hilarious laughter.
Honestly the listacle is a bit cringe if you’re at an age where most people can be expected to have been on a few dates. There’s a huge difference between searching for coffee shops/museums/whatever else in your area or even “things to do in x area” and searching for first date ideas. The former says you have a structure in mind, but you don’t necessarily know the specific locations, the latter says you have no idea and didn’t think the first source to ask is the person you’re going on a date with.
And as for llms vs general internet use goes? Yeah using llms is a turn off. I find the ability to write for oneself and process and analyze text for themselves important traits in a partner. What I’ve seen from llm users is that they often cede those skills.
It doesn’t even matter if AI or not. The point is, if you’re too dumb/lazy/busy/whatever to come up with an idea yourself, at least don’t tell your date that you are.
What do all us unoriginal people do then? Just curious? I mean dating in my day was a movie or a walk somewhere with a Starbucks or whatever. This was before texting and dating apps though. We definitely still struggled with this question, and I feel like I probably bored the shit out of a few girls. No doubt about it. Some of us are just boring though.
If someone makes a judgment call on something so petty as this, that’s an indicator they’re a picky pain in the ass. God knows what she will next find offensive.
That’s kind of my thing here too, and she seems pretty smug about it (if it’s even real - people exaggerate on social media). That would be a major turn off for me anyways. I’ve been off the market so long that I’m not even sure I’d ever be able to do this successfully anyways - the apps and all the other bullshit. Dating was hard enough in my time, let alone that noise.
If someone needs/wants to use AI to do extremely simple things like plan their date activities, that’s a good indication that they are an exceedingly uninteresting and unengaging person overall. They can’t even do the simple things, so the hard stuff in life is going to be insurmountable and they’ll be a massive burden on their friends and partner(s).
Where’s the incentive to “give them a chance” in this scenario? The books at home are the better option by far.
This reminds me of when I was a teenager, spending time chatting with multiple people simultaneously on MSN Messenger and AIM (man, how did I manage that?)
There were some people who’d just say, “I’m bored.” That’s it. I never knew how to respond. I usually said something like, “Oh, that sucks.” But their conversations never went anywhere besides complaining about boredom, so I usually stopped talking pretty quick. I get the impression they were just looking to have me entertain them somehow, despite putting no effort into making it worth my while. Bruh, I’m having three other conversations about fascinating topics, catching up with a friend living in another continent, and participating in a group RPG, all without anybody whining that they can’t think of something to do. Step up or step out, your boredom isn’t my problem.
A huge portion of the apps is just that. And I get it it’s awkward and it can be boring having the same conversation over and over. I sometimes am guilty of it too.
But I suspect a lot of people don’t really actively engage with stuff enough to be able to be interesting. I’ve seen people blame consumptive hobbies (as opposed to productive ones), but hell tell me about the TV show you’ve been watching or the video game you’ve been playing. If you’re consuming it in a critical manner you can say “well I really like what they did with the villain here, it really touches on the theme of [x], though I think sometimes the messaging is inconsistent”. Or “Oh yeah I really love these mechanics, it’s been fun watching the series evolve”. Fucking hell tell me what you think about a YouTube video you recently watched. I think some people basically disassociate into entertainment.
But yeah chatting without a prompt can be difficult, especially when not face to face. Getting to face to face relatively quickly is something I generally recommend people do while on the apps to minimize it. But also like, actually interact with life and the other person.
It’s kind of hand in hand with our age of glut. Take Netflix for example, I can sit there for an hour, not actually watch anything, and just endlessly scroll through stuff, because there’s too much. Its the same with these dating app things, like people cease to be people and instead are just menus and choices and things essentially. It’s turned us all (myself included) into vapid empty beings. I just don’t think we are meant to be as connected with each other, as we are today. I don’t think it’s healthy for our long term prosperity.
A lot of people seem to engage with dating with that same energy. You match, they write “hey”, and then wait for you to entertain them. A lot of social things are garbage-in, garbage-out.
I don’t think this would be the same as that. It’s one step before that. It’s basically like saying I’m looking at this persons status and name, and making broad assumptions without ever actually talking with them in any sort of detail.
Now if they went on the date and then the person was using chat gpt or whatever for everything, or using it constantly, well then yeah that would be pretty dumb and a bit more tantamount to your example.
Sorry but you seem to be arrogant about how sociable other people naturally are. Good for you if you had many friends to do interesting things with and never felt bored, but I find it hurtful that you think not having those traits is to be shunned. You don’t owe internet strangers entertainment, but is it such a crime that you need to rant about it decades after the fact?
Edit: Wording
I never had many friends to do interesting things with. I talked to people online when it was still new and shiny, and I was a teenager, with the energy to socialize in a way I sure can’t today. It was a different world - sometimes people would make a group MSN chat with a number of people and we’d just get to know each other through those mutual friends, who lived all around the world. Rarely did I have a group in person to do things with. I spent a lot of time alone, cultivating my own interests and skills. I didn’t “shun” anyone, I just had to choose how to spend my limited time and energy after school. Would you rather talk with someone that responds to your ideas and thoughtfully considers them, or someone who brushes everything off just to come back to saying, “I’m bored” no matter how much you try to engage them?
It’s also strange to categorize what I said as a “rant.” I was reminded of something from the past and I mentioned it in a comment that was along the same lines, remembering how I felt about it at the time. That’s hardly a rant.
I understand, I see that you had no bad intentions. As an asocial and regularly bored kid myself (even if not in this particular manner) it just made me sad that I might be remembered by people in a negative light even decades later
Aww, I understand. I was an extremely awkward kid myself and have had those worries. If it helps, most people don’t recall the minutiae of our uncomfortable moments, if they remember anything about them at all.
Also, I still value the person who told me he was bored all the time. I wouldn’t have kept him on my friends’ list if I didn’t. I don’t talk to him today, but that’s because of diverging life paths and the distance it creates. If we’d still lived around each other, perhaps we’d still be in contact.
Either way, I try not to worry about what people thought of me as a teen. I’ve grown, they’ve grown (hopefully), and if they did then I imagine even they look back at their teenage selves and cringe. You’re not the same person you used to be, and you should be proud of the strides you’ve taken to come this far. ♥️
The trait to be shunned in that is the trait of pushing your entertainment off on others.
When someone’s entire engagement is “I’m bored”, the unspoken follow-up is “entertain me”. This generation loves to go on and on and on about “emotional labour”. Well guess what: that unspoken “entertain me” is, get this, emotional labour.
Perhaps the people who say “I’m bored” should be told what I was told when I was single-digit aged: “There’s no such thing as being bored, only being boring.”
You’re reading malintent into an innocent phrase. They could be subtly asking to be let in a friend group or just venting. There are many ways you could respond to such a sentence besides giving them entertainment.
If you don’t have the slight bit of emotional availability to engage with them just don’t. It’s cringe to then go ranting about the time a boring person dared engaging with you and you stopped talking to them because you had so many friends.
Edit: To make my point clear, it’s not that one has to engage the person in question. But focusing on how doing so affects them without a hint of understanding that it’s the other person clearly in need of something is an indication of their own emotional immaturity. If you help someone in need you can brag. If you don’t because you don’t have the resources to help nobody can blame you, but you don’t get to be upset they asked.
They didn’t ask, is the point. They just said “I’m bored”.
That’s all quite different. Been there done that, dropped out. But judging someone over a petty thing like this is petty in itself. Maybe he’s not even a fan of AI, just thought it would be a cute idea to fly by her. Had I received an info sheet on my wife’s background and beliefs, I would never had responded to her.
I mean no one can force you to do something you don’t want, or can force you to have a certain opinion about something. But the difference here with you, I would assume anyways, that a) you didn’t make this up like this person probably did and b) you probably wouldn’t feel the need to go home and get on your soapbox and put that person on blast on your social media for it. That’s kind of stupid when you think about it. What if that guy or gal reads that? Great way to put someone down and hurt their feelings.
It’s a rough way to get that lesson for sure, but maybe he’ll learn for the future. If you coddle him then he’ll never learn.
How is this different then googling date ideas and clicking a listacle? Effort wise it’s about the same and you could make the same argument on their reliance on Google/Internet.
It seems that Internet dependence has become accepted as the norm while AI dependence is still new enough that there are people who don’t regularly use it and thus feel superior for their independence in this one specific area.
If I was about to go on a date with somebody and I said “Okay, I did a Google search for date ideas and I found a listicle” I would expect to be ghosted, too. Probably preceded by some hilarious laughter.
Honestly the listacle is a bit cringe if you’re at an age where most people can be expected to have been on a few dates. There’s a huge difference between searching for coffee shops/museums/whatever else in your area or even “things to do in x area” and searching for first date ideas. The former says you have a structure in mind, but you don’t necessarily know the specific locations, the latter says you have no idea and didn’t think the first source to ask is the person you’re going on a date with.
And as for llms vs general internet use goes? Yeah using llms is a turn off. I find the ability to write for oneself and process and analyze text for themselves important traits in a partner. What I’ve seen from llm users is that they often cede those skills.
It doesn’t even matter if AI or not. The point is, if you’re too dumb/lazy/busy/whatever to come up with an idea yourself, at least don’t tell your date that you are.
I guess not, hey?
What do all us unoriginal people do then? Just curious? I mean dating in my day was a movie or a walk somewhere with a Starbucks or whatever. This was before texting and dating apps though. We definitely still struggled with this question, and I feel like I probably bored the shit out of a few girls. No doubt about it. Some of us are just boring though.
You’re probably being too hard on yourself, but the obvious answer is “Get a personality”.
It’s not, but people just want to be angry and climb on soapboxes.
If someone makes a judgment call on something so petty as this, that’s an indicator they’re a picky pain in the ass. God knows what she will next find offensive.
Misogyny described as pro-ai propaganda? Why am I not surprised
That’s kind of my thing here too, and she seems pretty smug about it (if it’s even real - people exaggerate on social media). That would be a major turn off for me anyways. I’ve been off the market so long that I’m not even sure I’d ever be able to do this successfully anyways - the apps and all the other bullshit. Dating was hard enough in my time, let alone that noise.