Jessie’s Girl. It’s very catchy, but the lyrics are about being jealous of your friend, and the description of the girl involved is just so ridiculously minimal - she has eyes she looks with, she has a body, and she loves Jessie. That’s everything single thing said about her.

I’m a crusty metal head. It takes a lot, and I mean A LOT, to make me hate a song. Design the Skyline’s 2011 flaming pile of shit Surrounded by Silence is the single worst metal song I’ve ever listened to. At a time where we had major musical juggernauts like BTBAM, Periphery, Protest the Hero, After the Burial, and so many other great technically sound musicians just hitting their stride or deep in their prime, Design the Skyline said ‘this’ll do.’

I could rip into this thing a million different ways. Lets just start with the fucking aesthetics. It’s 2011. I’m a year into college. Hipsterism is on the rise. Scene kids are dying out. These guys are the last vestige of an embarrassingly low period of teenage subculture. You got two lead screamers. A gelfling, and Rhea Ripley 12 years before her time. The bassist is little brother Ethan after Mom said let your little brother be in the band. 3 nondescript other dudes wearing girls clothing who are too embarrassed to show their faces at all. And a drummer who is too good for this shit. They’re children of that time. The first thing I thought to my self as soon as they show up in the video even back then is, ‘we’re still doing this?’

The start of the song is the best part. It’s this techy synth stuff with great dynamics that fits the era. It’s long enough to make you think we’re in for a good ride. Then it drops out and the actual band starts and hooooo boy is it bad. It’s pure WHAT THE FUCK! The two screamers go back and forth unintelligibly. The guitars are playing fuck all. The bass drops out like fucking Hetfield was mixing And Justice For All. It’s just chaos.

Then you get to the chorus. It’s autotuned to shit. In the actual video the gelfling is battling snow that keeps falling into his mouth. The Rhea clone is dry heaving and singing at the same time. He legit looks like he’s gonna be sick the way he’s moving. Then little brother Ethan comes in. He’s the most awkward, no confidence looking mother fucker of the whole video. He looks like he spent the whole day getting yelled at to move like this and you’ll look cool, but it was really a joke and he just looks stupid. To the point there’s a shot of the Rhea clone staring off and rolling his eyes while little brother Ethan is singing, like why is he here? It’s just a fucking mess. The best part of the chorus is this is the only time in the whole song it happens.

Then it returns back to the chaos of nothingness musically and you feel shock. Why am I being bombarded by this? What is the point of this song? What is the point of my life? There are legit musicians at this period of time. Misha Mansoor is working hard on P2. The boys in BTBAM are working hard on P2. Everybody is waiting for the next Contortionist album. You got a whole new movement in Djent. Then this shit forces it’s way into the spotlight like a distraction from the Epstein Files.

And when I tell you the description I’m writing is nothing compared to the hate this song got at the time, I fucking mean it. They released their record then split up. The amount of hate they got broke the band up. There was no way anyone was taking any of this shit seriously. That’s how bad it was.

Here it is. Do not enjoy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViSZI6UJEUQ

The only other songs that makes me a fraction as upset as the above is Pause and Rib Woman on Frosting by Bent Knee. I can’t prove it but I really think those two songs caused a rift in the band that got Ben and Jess kicked out the band. Ben with out of control creativity that tanked a record on Pause. Whoever decided to have a high pitched alarm go off for a whole song deserves to be whipped. Nobody wants to listen to Jess moan for a whole song like Rib Woman. They’re lucky they had the cover of covid to leave, but man that record really upset a lot of people. None more than the band itself. They’ll never say it but it’s pretty obvious. The Hyperpop experiment was a failure.

“Children,” by Robert Miles.

It became even worse when lyrics were added.

Sultans of Swing. Everyone and their uncle thinks its the best thing ever, so I hear it all the fime. Repetitive music, barely any actual singing, and just frankly sounds shit. I can’t believe it was so popular that I am now cursed to hear if on every oldies station.

Anything by Dylan.

And i would walk 500 Miles and i would walk 500 more to be the man who would walk 1000 miles blah blah blah blah 😭🔫

Pearl Jam’s Last Kiss sends me into a blind rage. I respect people’s right to like this song but it is terrible, and they played it on the radio all the fucking time. I’m getting pissed just typing this out.

“Pump it” by the Black Eyed Peas, They ruined a perfectly good song (Misirlou)

Anything by an artist that turned out to be a pedo, RHCP, aerosmith, etc. It makes me sick knowing they’re still making royalties and not facing consequences.

Anything by Cake. I have a visceral reaction.

Big Yellow Taxi by Joni Mitchell and covered by Counting Crows. I had to look up the actual name of the song because I just know it by the lyric " Paved paradise, put up a parking lot". It’s just repetitive, depressing, and unimaginative.

Tom’s Diner. It played in the Muzak rotation when I worked retail. I went into the coffe shop and had a cup of coffee. Do do doo do do and it just hangs in my head.

Anything Metallica.

One Headlight - I don’t even know why other than that the song is the epitome of meh, but I fucking hate that song.

Fucking Staind. It’s Been Awhile is one of the whiniest piece of shit songs with the dumbest lyrics ever written. Louie Louie is Shakespeare compared to that song. It came out right around the time Clear Channel was barfing out Christian rock garbage and I’d rather listen to Creed telling me about Jeebus’s arms wide open a million times before I’d listen to someone repeat the same emo trash “I’m 13 and this is deep” line in a song 14 fucking times.