I’m going to make a bet that most female astronauts are going to take hormones to stop menstruation. Which will also stop ovulation.
I mean there are other reasons why this suggested is invalid . See other comments.
But I’m also pointing out this one.
Skipping up to three mensurations has been tested and found to be safe. They called it a tri-cycle
More isn’t unsafe, just unknown to science
The female astronauts shouldn’t have dressed that way /s
By the same reasoning women should never sit on a single man’s computer chair either.
Maybe they shouldn’t rub one out using the chair as sloppy seconds.
The quote has been misattributed: https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/masturbation-in-space-nasa-warning/
Well guess you have a better excuse than “I tripped and fell in to her”
That’s an interesting confirmation that everyone on the ISS has no trousers on at all times.
What kind of psycho wears trousers at home
People venturing outside of our atmosphere are advised against pleasuring themselves in zero gravity.
The reason? Female astronauts could accidentally get impregnated by stray fluids.
Seems all they have to do is invent some kind of nutsack.
I propose funding for an aerospace cock sock that could keep everyone safe from stray nut.
Nut allergies strike again!
Not long ago I learned nut allergies aren’t really a thing anymore. https://www.theguardian.com/wellness/2025/nov/11/peanut-allergies-declining-children-explained
Bam. Fun fact.
Stroke?
All of the greatest inventions which revolutionized key aspects of our daily lives have begun in aerospace engineering.
Pens that write upside down. Ice cream that doesn’t melt. Cock socks that don’t leak and are easy to clean.
This is why we fund NASA!
These guys never heard of a “posh-wank?”
I never beat my meat at Oxford. What’s a posh-wank?
With a condom is what I have heard. Expensive hence posh I guess!
Jacking it with a condom on
A wank whilst wearing a condom
That’s when you eat your cum so you don’t have to clean up right?
Thats just normal recycling
Yeah but you have a side salad with it
That’s a normal wank…er…right? Right?
Not exactly haha…its when you jack it with a condom on
Jack what?
IT
A coat.
Wait why would I jack a coat if I already have a condom on?
You’re fine. Just wrong direction.
Wow…
I could Google it but I’d rather hear it from you since, no, I have never heard of a posh-wank.
The NASA ScRoTE. Self-contained Repository of Testicular Ejaculate.
Receptacle*
Have they actually done a fluid simulation, I still hold the position you can’t bukake in space or microgravity as it where
Semen isn’t gravity fed so I don’t think the lack of it would make a difference.
Idk I think semen can have a little gravity, as a treat
Is it just me or does this seem tremendously unlikely and easy to prevent?
The chances of a solar particle hitting your RAM and causing a bit to flip are tremendously unlikely as well, but there’s hardware made to prevent that from happening (I realize ECC does more than that).
I mean, do female astronauts/cosmonauts regularly float naked in the space station?
“Three female astronauts can be impregnated by the same man on the same session… it finds its way,” Smyth replied.
Not buying it at all… I’m not saying it’s impossible but the odds must be astronomical (no pun intended) just for one pregnancy… not even in a million years. Life finds a way, I know, but come on!
No, it’s true. Female astronauts usually float around up there with their twats out; spread wide open to air it out, and nearly every time a male astronaut blasts some rope, it floats straight to it obviously.
LMAO. Gold.
Also lady bits work like a vaccum, just sucking up all the stray dirt and food crumbs as well. Its why women are so good at staying at home.and vaccuuming, its literally natural.
(/s)
Doubly so when you consider space is a vacuum
Space invaders: genetic boogaloo
Am I Pragnent?
Preganté. You has it.
gregnant
I had to look it up. It’s still flippin’ hilarious but holy moly it’s 9 years old!!!
👵 i made your internet. This bit is much older, 2006, it’s got many variants that came after. Looks like gregnant was 2016.
It was on the news this mroing
I am. pregannenant!?
How is babby formed?
Probably
Dangerops, prangent sex
Semen from various astropervs just floating around in the capsule sticking to peoples’ faces, getting in their hair, etc.
Additional protein, yummy 😋
Well that explains all the masterbation
Im out there shootin tardigrades
women floatin gonna get some babies made
that’s why I knew this rap was gonna be great
I wacked off in space and now my commanders …late…
This sounds like a Dracula Flow bit lmao
“We out here shootin’ tardigrades. Smokin’ on that baby-back, third-degree, JB Weld, mega-millions Zaza. Shot a rope on the spacewalk and that bitch encircled the entire planet. This shit ain’t nothing to me, man. I’m twelve million years old, I left a brick on the moon back in the BC era. Don’t fuck with me.”
well the article is from the future so we have to take their word for it
This article was originally published on 23 July 20222
Damn, that’s already after the butlerian jihad
A Nasa engineer named Smythe answered questions from Conan O’Brien on his podcast Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend in 2022.
I’m not sure nofap is the only viable strategy. What about requiring vasectomy or unisex birth control?
Btw, porn in space is an unfapped market niche.
requiring vasectomy
Yeah definitely man. I mean if you wanna go to space why don’t we jump to required castration while we’re at it?
Then provide reproductive healthcare in space
Lol wat
can’t have neither in the long run, people will fuck in space sooner or later
Well everything needs to be studied conclusively but wow.
Imagine you just get a wet dream and all of the female crew gets pregnant of stray cum
That’s got to be a fetish in the future.
deranger beat you to it lol
I think the bigger problem is the female astronauts slonking around the cabin crotch-first
Female astronaut: Here I go clam slammin in the cabin.
This hypothesis generated by the same guys that are pretty sure sororities are just for naked pillow fights.
Fuck you, I’ll shoot ropes up there!
Sounds like there might be an emerging market for fleshlight shaped jizz vacuums.
Imagining some poor horny astronut with suitcase sprawled out on the bed the night before his big flight. His inner monologue churning out scenarios, crunching probabilities of situations where he’d be caught in an embarrassing situation with his vacusuck 2000 as he repeatedly packs and unpacks it.
Hahahaha
“Well, honey? You bringing your Thirsty Kirsty® or not?”
We might soon have a drug that stops sperm production. That would be welcome news for space gooners.
A male birth control pill has been right around the corner for like 30 years. I wouldn’t hold my breath.
We already have drugs that stop women from getting pregnant from direct nuts, let alone stray ones. I’m not saying that female astronauts should go on birth control to let the boys blast rope, but this cannot be the actual reason.
