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We typically have no idea unless explicitly told, no.
Even then, maybe she’s just nice. Or canadian
I knew a nice Canadian that had a crush on me once. I still messed it up.
Yeah, see, my girlfriend just right out told me. But we’re both AuADHD. So you know, things happen impulsively and directly.
I asked her on a date, she said yes. We get to the date we have fun, we have a long night out, she goes home and texts me “I like you.”
Yep. Which is a good thing too because I liked her and was a lot nervous about that.
When women can’t communicate and frustrate themselves.
I have dated women who expect me to read their minds and think if I am not Professor X I don’t care about them.
One breakup the reason was “I shouldn’t have to ask you for anything, you should already know what I want before I want it. That is what love is!”
Then I asked her if she does that for me and she made a face and said “No, you’re a man you don’t deserve that.”
.
Aside from a lot of guys being thickheaded and not seeing it, there’s also selection bias.
A) A girl has a crush on a guy. He notices but plays it safe. Maybe she’s just friendly. Result: no harm done except perpetuating the myth that guys don’t notice.
B) A girl is just friendly but the guy thinks he’s being crushed on and acts on it. Now he’s forever labeled as a creep.
The only safe play as a guy is always, always assuming she’s just being friendly. Unless she comes right out and says she wants to hump your bones, just assume she’s being nice to you.
Thanks for lining it out so well.
There’s a good shot that she’s into me, but if she’s not, I’ll either die of embarrassment or I’ll get bullied by their whole social circle.
Add to this that men usually are not as socially comfortable as women, and you kinda understand it why this happens.
This happens to women too. The embarrasement is real and the societal pressure to not be seen as a slut is everpresent. Playing it safe is a popular strategy no matter the gender.
It’s 2026. Are people still that puritanical that they care about somebody else’s sexual activity?
The places I’ve lived in the last 15 years have been extremely sex positive, which was a slight shift in mindsets from where I grew up, which was slowly coming this way.
Is there a sudden resurgence in this behavior? Is it part of the man-o-sphere bullshit?
yes. most people are incredibly puritanical. including ‘sex positive’ people. most self-proclaimed ‘sex positive’ people i knew are the ones who judged people the most for their sexual habits. anytime i have hung out with sex positive people i have been shamed by them for being a slut, or being a prude. i’m a man and i’ve had women reject me for my partner count many times for being too much or too little.
it’s not a resurgence, it’s always been there. it will always be there. people don’t like people who are different than them. it makes feel feel bad and insecure and they blame you for it rather than question their own feelings.
i’m a man and i’ve had women reject me for my partner count many times for being too much or too little.
Is it TMI for them to even be asking that?! Unless you mean a few dates in or something maybe
No, it’s just your typical double standard shit. If I asked the that, I’d be an asshole sexist pig. If they asked me that, they are just trying to figure out if I am a womanizer or ‘inexperienced’. When they do it it’s a ‘good thing’, when I do it, it’s ‘bad’.
And nobody is ever happy with the answer unless your number is basically the same as theirs. If your number is significantly different, than you are ‘judging them’. Because what they are really asking, on a deeper level, is you to validate them and their life choices.
It’s not any different with money either. You have to answer them with the number in their head they have pre-determined is ‘correct’ or you are not worthy of them, or you are going to steal/abuse them. This is regardless of their own financial status. I make a great salary and am happy with money. But I meet women who think I am going to to steal their money and force them to pay all my bills if I make like 10K less than they do, which is a trivial amount to both of us. But this ‘fear’ is almost always a projection of her desire to be the person who steals the money and has their bills paid for them, or some deep belief that any man who can’t pay her bills for her is not a ‘real man’. I meet so many women I am at the same financial level as who tell me I am too poor to date them… it’s just hilarious to me at this point. They basically have to come up with a conspiracy theory to justify their greed that a man must make 2-3x their income to be ‘good’. And in my dating bracket, that means a guy has to make like 500K salary, which is a top .5% salary. Hence the refrain ‘there are no good men’. All the men who are moderate successful making 100-200K are ‘losers’ who are just going to financial use and abuse her, or something.
men are discouraged from approaching women and women dont want to show their interest in clear way. How have we not gone extinct yet?
We are on the way. sex and relationship rates are massively declining for Gen Z.
I have four newphews 16-20. they have all dated. all but one of them has already sworn off dating because they think it’s total bullshit and they thought it was miserable and no fun to have a girlfriend, for the very same reasons, I also am frustrated with dating and relationships in my 40s. It’s insane. It took me 30+ years of dating to get fed up, they were fed up in 1-2 years.
And all of us agree the issue is women’s expectations they get from social media. My 17 year old nephew broke up with his gf because he got her flowers and she complained they were not $200+ that he was a ‘low effort’ boyfriend and all her friends dog-piled in group chat and agreed. He’s 17 and he makes 15 bikes an hour part time…
Like why would any sane person want to subject themselves to group harassment from multiple women for the ‘sin’ of not being able to buy her absurdly expensive flowers? In my situation, I take women out on $100-200 dinner takes and get told that I’m a ‘loser’ for not taking her out to a $1000 restaurant on our 3rd date. It’s INSANE.
None of that happened 10 years ago. If I took a woman out to a $100 restaurant 10 years ago she was STOKED. Now the refrain on the news is ‘men are not good enough for women and women are giving up’. Without acknowledging the changes in women’s expectations for men due to their addiction to social media and constant consumption of ‘lifestyle’ influences.
All anyone blames is the manosphere… and how evil that is. But really it’s both sexes that are swept up in these toxic sexist expectations that are making both of them miserable and lonely and unable to connect with other people.
Where are you finding these women? I’ve never dated anyone like that. Not disputing that they exist, but to take out enough of them that it’s worth bitching about online may indicate a problem with the choices you’re making. Plenty of women are looking for an actual connection and relationship with someone.
Women are like cats. They rub on you, climb on you, try to be near you, sigh when they’re next to you, and we’re like “I think she’s just being friendly”. Also, I just told on myself that I don’t have a girlfriend because I compared women to cats…
Do you have cats?
I have a cat and I get messages on dating apps from women telling me they like me but I need to get rid of my cat to date them. It’s fucking weird.
It’s nice of them to tell you that you should ignore them.
