50% chance: 20 year old Victorinox multitool
25% chance: bunch of yubikeys
10% chance: 1d6 amphetamines 10mg
100% chance: human corpse
10% chance: somehow another human corpse
Ooo, double loot!
Not exactly a farm-able loot table, but here’s what taking down a warp core gets you:
- Antimatter
- Coolant
- Dilithium crystals
- Isolinear chips
- Fusion chamber schematic
Warp core also deals 5,000,000 damage in a 10km radius, upon death. So you get to enjoy those spoils for about a femtosecond.
Maybe poop. I heard that people poop when they die
peed pants
What are the stats like on those?
-7 to charisma
Wearer autocasts Level 3 Fascinate Dog
The dog then proceeds to add some pee themselves.
An XL Chance dildo from Bad Dragon.
It’s a unique weapon that gives a +5 bonus to strength and willpower.
That’s my horses name in RDR2 and RDR
A very good horse
Does it glow when THOTs are nearby?
I’m more of a David connoisseur, myself
yeah you would!
- Skateboard
- MP3 Player
- iPhone 5s
- Pack of Xylitol Gum
- Extra Spicy Eyedrops
3 bags of soylent
gameboy-shaped candy tin, half full of nicotine pouches
a wallet full of library cards
little red songbook 1923 edition (used)
All my hobbies lol
- 90% Empty beer can
- 100% An SFP+ module (most likely for multimode fiber)
- 80% prioritypass card that’ll give you free entry to a nice airport lounge on the opposite side of the planet
- 20% a wedge of blue cheese
- 100% a guitar pick
If at work (roll 1d10 4 times)
Wire strippers
11-in-1 screwdriver
Impact driver with 1 of Philips, Square, or 5/16" socket bits in it. 5ah battery
3d12 wirenuts
5d12 selftapping or wood screws
2d12 one hole straps (not the size you need)
Torpedo level (magnetic)
Cigarettes (cheap, 2d10 left in pack)
Vape pen (not nicotine)
KeysIf at home (lair) I just give up, roll for treasure as Villager. Tools are in the van outside.
Perfect username for this reply. I love it.
Stinks like electrician in here. Should also drop a pile of “forbidden confetti” aka wire jacket cuttings.
Those are in the dryer filter
Ah, a tradie.
An LCD sound system CD.
The collected works of Jrrr Tolkien
A collection of keys you don’t remember having, or what they’re for
A lingering sense of dread over whether you fed the cats
Debt
Roll against your intelligence to prevent debt assumption
Good joke, many laughs.
A dead body.
“It’s weird to get two dead bodies off this guy, but I’m not complaining.”
Don’t forget those maggots. Players gotta eat.
Probably a few petabytes of DDR5…

LFG - MrLLM speedclears monk prio - no rangers no necros
- Insulin
- Sourdough Starter
- An SSH private key that might come in handy later















