I tried a fully fledged consumer NAS (QNAP with Seagate 12 TB NAS drives) but the noise of the platters was not acceptable.

If you have a NAS, then you can put it as far away as your network reaches. Just put it somewhere where you can’t hear the thing.

Well, @[email protected] reports claiming it with his tongue, so if enough people follow his example, I’d hope occasionally.

EDIT: Apparently a possibility that’s already been considered.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cloud_Gate

Since the sculpture was expected to be outdoors, concerns arose that it might retain and conduct heat in a way that would make it too hot to touch during the summer and so cold that one’s tongue might stick to it during the winter.