I tend to overshare online about my trauma because I want to feel seen and then a wave of guilt washes over me. Best to keep it to myself on paper. I journal to keep a record of my feelings, how my days/week went, and to help me reduce overthinking.

As years go by, I look back on how much I’ve grown and progressed in life. Though I did throw the notebooks away because they were filled with horrible memories and I wanted to start over. I still remember what I wrote, but I’ve healed from them so it doesn’t really hurt me that much anymore.

I also have a book of wins where I write everything that I achieved from small to big wins-- from getting out of bed with depression to hitting the gym to solving a difficult problem on a project.

Got into weight lifting/gym/Taekwondo a month ago. Mental health and sleep quality has been significantly better. I’m able to carry many heavy grocery bags all in one trip, less anxious/overthinking thoughts, I wake up earlier and is able to work on woodworking projects for uni late at night without being overly tired.

Also it trained my determination, grit, and persistence. I would tell myself “Just one more push up, one more bicep curl, one more kick!” and I end up doing 5 or 6 more reps.

Scared of dating and getting my heart broken again. Too much pain for me to handle. And I’m not where I want to be in life right now. So I’m focusing on myself (mental and phyical health) and building my future career. It’s been the most peaceful years of my life since my break up.

Nature documentaries-- how different kinds of wildlife thrive on Earth. There’s weird looking ones with cool abilities like the cuttlefish that can flash colors, scary deep sea creatures, unique birds that make cool and scary sounds like the Shoebill, and plants with unusual patterns.

Also how the filmmakers were able to capture all kinds of life with extreme close-ups and David Attenborough’s iconic narration