Betty, I got no idea how you F up a pipe wrench that bad, but go throw that thing away, and stand in the corner while I rip out these expensive pipes you’ve installed everywhere pipes don’t go.

The article and Designer seem to describe an automated shifting system that starts you in your highest gear, and then will progressively shift you to lower gears the faster you go. BRILLIANT

There’s only one culprit here, and it’s 100% responsible for this phenomenon: Countries can’t have children. Only People can have children.