For my birthday, my spouse got me a nicer newer expensive version of a thing I already have. The one I have is older and dented but works just fine. I use it weekly. I never complain about it. I’ve never asked for a newer one. The one I have was given to me by my mother in law, whom I adore. It’s sentimental.

I don’t like new things. When they got me a 3d printer, it was the cheapest one and it was a kit and I had to build myself. I loved it. It’s perfect for me. I regularly buy things used or get things from Buy Nothing groups. I much prefer to repair old things in many ways. My car has over 100k miles. The one before did too. I don’t like new things.

We got into a huge argument because I want to return it. They are so upset with me that they left the house to calm down. Why am I the bad person? Why are they mad at me? I have a very clear tendency for old broken used things. Why am I obligated to like this new thing?

We literally established a rule early in our marriage. I’m not allowed to gift nerdy t shirts. They don’t like them. I love them. I thought they would like them but they do not. So they asked me to stop. This feels the same. I do not like new things. Why am I the bad guy for wanting to return the newer version of the thing I already have?

  • FridaySteve@lemmy.world
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    6 months ago

    Your hurt is valid. You got given something you don’t want and now you feel pressured to accept it to appease your partner. It’s in certain ways worse than getting nothing.

    Can you explain this? I was always taught to accept the sentiment and just receive the gift. I certainly wouldn’t suggest returning a gift.

    • Jarix@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      The gift is an insult to OP. It’s hurtful and savage to force them to accept something that causes them pain and suffering and then force them to make them responsible for the other person’s feelings.

      That’s so fucked up you would blame op just because they didn’t want this unsolicited gift