There are plenty of reasons that aren’t selfish. You can do it for humanity, for justice, for style points, for Narnia… If you want to logick those into being selfish, that’s your own moral framework talking. Every action is a subjective choice from a subjective perspective in the end, but people can still have non-selfish intentions, however misguided you may judge them.
I think you’re missing the point. Having a child for Narnia is not selfish, it is literally for the good of Narnia to have another strong Narnian. But you’re operating under a moral framework where even the good of Narnia is ultimately good for the Narnian, therefore it is selfish to want Narnia to be strong.
Do you have to agree with the idea of a strong Narnia? Of course not. But it’s a very narrow way of thinking to explain every human motivation through selfishness.
@thepig in my experience these folks think everyone is either rich or has zero disabilities of any kind when thats actually about .00000001% of humans. Or theyre really young and have no idea how much life sucks (but make the best of it anyway if youre here)
@BlueOysterCultist I mean, mine wasnt great (childhood abuse) but I make the most of it myself. Theres definitely fun to be had. I just see zero reason to drag an unconsenting person into the world. Like, why? If people were actually not selfish, they’d adopt. I am selfish and I enjoy my alone time, so I will probably end up doing neither.
I don’t think it’s a problem to be selfish, if you can provide for the kid (both emotionally and materially).
Also the foster/adopt system is exceedingly slow (months to years for placement) and the older children are likely to have serious issues. Personally I’d be fine with fostering to adopt but I don’t want to risk bringing a behavioral nightmare of a teen into my house.
For new life, assuming the emotional + material needs are met, existence is definitely worth it over nothingness. Global warming and all these authoritarian politicians are definitely making for a shitty looking future for new life though.
@thepig agree. I’d say in general, my life has maybe been 15-20% enjoyment, the rest was either meh or outright sucked. The enjoyment portion gets smaller as one gets older, especially if you aren’t raking in cash by the time youre 40, you won’t have a fun time.
Might not be selfless as such, and I’m not in any position to speak for women in general, but when that biological drive kicks in, it can do so pretty damn hard.
That’s still satisfying your own need, but perhaps more subconsciously so than people having children without thought or care.
Me and my wife agreed on not having children when we were young, but we’ve never regretted the son we got after a pretty radical twist in our mid 20’s. I could go on, but it’s complicated.
In today’s world, if I were young again, I’d never even give it serious thought, though. Different times, although it doesn’t feel that long ago.
In all honesty, lots of people have children not even because they especially want to, but because they feel obligated to by their role in society. That’s not a reason many people are likely to give, but it’s not a selfish reason.
@thepig everyone wants people to have kids, no one wants to pay or take the time for them. If you dont have immediate family nearby, have fun with $2k/month daycare bills on $9/hr minimum wage! Its a joke.
@thepig maybe some people cannot control their biological desires. Obviously its normal to want a kid because biology demands it. I however feel 0 desire for it.
Meeting your obligations is the most unselfish thing you can possibly do. Doing things out of obligation to others is the fundamental unit of unselfishness.
They care about an ethereal being that has not yet even started to exist ?
Couldn’t they care about something before it comes into existence?
so surely they must not care about something that doesn’t exist
I don’t understand how you arrive at this outcome that you cannot care about something that doesn’t exist. Lower stakes example: gamers cared about GTA 6 before it came out. People care about future entries into game series that haven’t even been thought up yet.
People care about the concept of things that don’t exist enough to make them want to exist.
did they ask the future kid’s soul if it want to come into existence?
If you believe in souls, and believe they exist before birth, then I’m curious about why you think it would be selfish to bring souls to experience the mortal plane of existence. Would it not be a function of a soul to be brought here?
Cause before they conceive the child, the child doesn’t exist
According to this thought experiment, their soul exists but they don’t? They meaning their physical body? I guess that makes sense.
But still: people can care about things that don’t exist yet.
Just in case it isn’t clear: none of the above is said with any animosity, and I’m not talking down to you.
My wife and I have a family to give you a justification to not have children. So, I’m glad I could make you feel better about your choice. That was pretty selfless of us I think.
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There are plenty of reasons that aren’t selfish. You can do it for humanity, for justice, for style points, for Narnia… If you want to logick those into being selfish, that’s your own moral framework talking. Every action is a subjective choice from a subjective perspective in the end, but people can still have non-selfish intentions, however misguided you may judge them.
Well said.
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I think you’re missing the point. Having a child for Narnia is not selfish, it is literally for the good of Narnia to have another strong Narnian. But you’re operating under a moral framework where even the good of Narnia is ultimately good for the Narnian, therefore it is selfish to want Narnia to be strong.
Do you have to agree with the idea of a strong Narnia? Of course not. But it’s a very narrow way of thinking to explain every human motivation through selfishness.
Ura Narnia!
To give someone a chance to experience the pleasure of living.
To contribute to the world an additional person of quality and integrity.
You probably just haven’t been asking very thoughtful or articulate people.
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@thepig in my experience these folks think everyone is either rich or has zero disabilities of any kind when thats actually about .00000001% of humans. Or theyre really young and have no idea how much life sucks (but make the best of it anyway if youre here)
Yall got some dismal life experiences; what a dour outlook on life.
@BlueOysterCultist I mean, mine wasnt great (childhood abuse) but I make the most of it myself. Theres definitely fun to be had. I just see zero reason to drag an unconsenting person into the world. Like, why? If people were actually not selfish, they’d adopt. I am selfish and I enjoy my alone time, so I will probably end up doing neither.
I don’t think it’s a problem to be selfish, if you can provide for the kid (both emotionally and materially).
Also the foster/adopt system is exceedingly slow (months to years for placement) and the older children are likely to have serious issues. Personally I’d be fine with fostering to adopt but I don’t want to risk bringing a behavioral nightmare of a teen into my house.
For new life, assuming the emotional + material needs are met, existence is definitely worth it over nothingness. Global warming and all these authoritarian politicians are definitely making for a shitty looking future for new life though.
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@thepig agree. I’d say in general, my life has maybe been 15-20% enjoyment, the rest was either meh or outright sucked. The enjoyment portion gets smaller as one gets older, especially if you aren’t raking in cash by the time youre 40, you won’t have a fun time.
Might not be selfless as such, and I’m not in any position to speak for women in general, but when that biological drive kicks in, it can do so pretty damn hard.
That’s still satisfying your own need, but perhaps more subconsciously so than people having children without thought or care.
Me and my wife agreed on not having children when we were young, but we’ve never regretted the son we got after a pretty radical twist in our mid 20’s. I could go on, but it’s complicated.
In today’s world, if I were young again, I’d never even give it serious thought, though. Different times, although it doesn’t feel that long ago.
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In all honesty, lots of people have children not even because they especially want to, but because they feel obligated to by their role in society. That’s not a reason many people are likely to give, but it’s not a selfish reason.
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@thepig oh man, sooooo many people fit this mold. “Because I have to. Because its what you do”. No. Its not. You dont have to do ANYTHING.
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@thepig everyone wants people to have kids, no one wants to pay or take the time for them. If you dont have immediate family nearby, have fun with $2k/month daycare bills on $9/hr minimum wage! Its a joke.
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@thepig maybe some people cannot control their biological desires. Obviously its normal to want a kid because biology demands it. I however feel 0 desire for it.
Meeting your obligations is the most unselfish thing you can possibly do. Doing things out of obligation to others is the fundamental unit of unselfishness.
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Are all selfish actions bad?
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Perhaps they do it because they care. How would you know what rationale everyone has?
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Couldn’t they care about something before it comes into existence?
I don’t understand how you arrive at this outcome that you cannot care about something that doesn’t exist. Lower stakes example: gamers cared about GTA 6 before it came out. People care about future entries into game series that haven’t even been thought up yet.
People care about the concept of things that don’t exist enough to make them want to exist.
If you believe in souls, and believe they exist before birth, then I’m curious about why you think it would be selfish to bring souls to experience the mortal plane of existence. Would it not be a function of a soul to be brought here?
According to this thought experiment, their soul exists but they don’t? They meaning their physical body? I guess that makes sense.
But still: people can care about things that don’t exist yet.
Just in case it isn’t clear: none of the above is said with any animosity, and I’m not talking down to you.
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My wife and I have a family to give you a justification to not have children. So, I’m glad I could make you feel better about your choice. That was pretty selfless of us I think.
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