Could be big picture, like a life goal. Could be what you want right this moment. What do you yearn for?
I would like to live in a global society were the worst off person has a decent life. food, housing, medicine, education.
Peace and consideration.
I want to be able to help and make my neighborhood better and feed my family but without the frantic pace. I once had a surgery that put me in the hospital for a few days. Even with the recovery and pain and everything, it remains one of my happiest memories. I was resting, cared for, and looked after. I have none of that in my daily life.
To be able to walk again
Proper wealth distribution for now and in perpetuity (no billionaires or trillionaires. Apparently my spell-check doesn’t recognize the latter as a word, so it’s got the right idea.) I’d like global warming to be fixed, AI to disappear, and for people to use critical thinking on a daily basis both for the news they encounter, and to reflect on their own beliefs.
Then once that’s accomplished, I’d like to be aged back to my mid-20s so I can have a family. I love kids, but the idea is absolutely unfeasible with the way the world is. Even if things started getting fixed today, it would take years if not decades for everything to settle, and I’d be in the “advanced maternal age” camp with all its risks, or straight up going through menopause before it’s all done. Even if I adopted, I’d rather have more youth myself so I can keep up with the kids.
The rich really, truly fucked the world (and shot themselves in the foot) by making it prohibitively expensive for so many of us to survive.
For things to stop getting worse
A world in which people with Antisocial Personality Disorders are institutionalized rather than being put in charge of governments and corporations.
I’m pleased to inform you that most people suffering from ASPD have in fact been victimised by the police, and that the politicians and billionaires you’re thinking of don’t have ASPD.
I know it can feel comforting to have some pseudoscientific explanation of which people are fundamentally good and which people are born evil. But there is no Jewish illuminati, there is no lizard people illuminati, and there is no neurodivergent illuminati. Extreme wealth turns people evil, regardless of what race, religion, or neurotype they were born with.
maybe. but imo extreme wealth hoarding is usually only possible/successful by people with little empathy who exploit others around them
You just described being a bad person. Yes, billionaires are bad people. But being a bad person isn’t a mental disorder. That’s not what psychiatry is for.
The diagnosis of ASPD came from early psychiatrists working in insane asylums, describing patterns they saw in the patients. Wealthy politicians don’t get sent to mental institutions.
The diagnosis of ASPD was invented by doctors who wanted a model to help them improve the lives of their patients. You know, help them emotionally regulate so that they can function in society and get a job, instead of antagonising the police and being put in a prison. Wealthy politicians don’t need a doctor to help them with their people skills.
These harmful stereotypes about neurodivergent people happen when we start thinking like Batman writers. When we view mental disorders as a monster manual. Instead of what they really are, which is a model for helping people.
thanks, you’re right. using the term ASPD does indeed seem wrong and harmful in this case.
I want my own place. So tired of living with my folks as a 30 something. I just want my own fucking place.
Come to northern Maine! Cheap houses up here. They’re maybe not the best, but if you’re handy and have tools, it’s not bad. I bought mine with a $5500 downpayment, and I have 10 acres of land.
This guy gonna get eaten by a bear day 1
I am actually deeply afraid of bears. So maybe not totally far off. lol
This seems more common in the US - I wonder what the nuance there is to explain this. I doubt people in my country are any more wealthy in relative terms yet pretty much everyone has moved out by the point they’re 20. I bought my house at 27 years of age and I had lived in 4 different rental apartments before that. My parents supported me with 50€/week for few years but that’s it.
Is there a reason you don’t have one? Couldn’t you just get one?
In much of the world there’s this thing called money, and sometimes people have a limited supply of it
Right. But in much of the world the average wage would be sufficient to cover a home. Not that one should if they can co-live with family or friends, but seeing as op desires their own home the most (the thread), I would assume they’d choose not to. Which comes back to usually being able to “just get one” if one really wants that. Unless they have no income. But almost always that’s a problem that can be solved with enough resolve, disabilities and such notwithstanding.
All to say, if one’s own home is the dearest wish one has, that’s, in vast majority of cases, entirely doable. Which is to say, the dream will come true in this case, with some work and resolve. Unlike some of the other dreams here. Which is an amazing thing, and a hopeful one for the op, which I was trying to highlight to them
Getting an average wage is something 50% of people are unable to do.
Fortunately I live in the UK where minimum wage is pretty decent. But even with that, many people struggle to get full employment. At least if you do have full employment you shouldn’t have any financial issues here unless you just spend it all but at that point it’s more of a skill issue.
Average wages are far above what most people earn. Median income is lower and closer to realistic … then one can cut it down further by median income for people aged 25-35. Then look at that bracket alongside cost of living in the geographical location of those same wages - if that’s in the first world, odds are the cost of living is above the available wages.
If it’s in a developing country, then food and shelter security itself may be in doubt.
And of course, that doesn’t take unemployment into account.
To be honest, your reply makes you sound like you’ve never faced any sort of financial hardship in your life … which would put you in the minority of people on the planet.
Oh I’ve been homeless, couch-surfed and unemployed with clinical depression that recurs even today, driving those periods of my life.
But I’ve found my footing each time with a bit of resolve and bad enough situation to eventually accrue and warrant the resolve. And luckily, friends and empathetic strangers.
But I live in the 1st world and have also had a family to help and overall safe and helpful society to fall back on, even when I’ve fucking lost the map, not even able to kill myself due to my cowardice, no place to stay, ashamed to ask for help for months at end.
So I know a little, the hard way, about not having a home. Not even the one the op has with their parents.
But I also know, the hard way here too, that it’s only about surviving long enough to accumulate enough resolve to figure things out. If you outlast the call of the void and the shame and despair and the uncertainty of even things like where to sleep this night, can I manage something to eat, etc. then it ultimately works out, with enough resolve.
And when it doesn’t, it doesn’t matter anymore. Losing the resolve is either answering the void or giving up and accepting the bleak situation, until you one day either retry with resolve, or join eternity.
My dude.
And luckily, friends and empathetic strangers.
Stop undervaluing what was the single most important part of your experience. Not everyone has friends, family, or access to people who don’t want to fuck them or fuck them over.
Wasn’t my intent to undervalue it. Just noting that the strangers for example, could’ve happened to anyone, those times it just happened to be me. I am privileged in that alone, but the privilege isn’t or wasn’t inherent or special to me, just pure chance.
Which is to say, it could and can happen to anyone. Which is the point I wanted to raise, I think. Life and world is chaotic. Nobody’s excluded or fully shielded from good luck. Nor bad shit. Some might have more things going for them one way or the other, but nothing in this chaos entirely discounts anyone, ever.
But these were weird ramblings from me, I tried (and failed) to make a point and be coherent. I’m not an authority to listen to here, not really sure where the confidence came to present myself as such in these comments.
In other words, you’ve been lucky.
OP has also been lucky, because they’re able to live with their parents, but that doesn’t mean they have the resources to be able to support a separate household.
I have also been lucky, in that I have always been able to make money even when I had nothing. But I’ve known other people who were not in that position and struggled as a result.
In that sense, everyone is and can be lucky. It’s not like you know or feel, at the time, that things would ever improve. Things feel final. It never feels like you’ll get another chance at life.
Yet, most do. I was lucky in that it never took years. But even those seemingly stuck, tens of years on the street, can always get a chance, be it luck or resolve. Or both. I suppose luck means nothing if you don’t have the resolve to seize the chance and do something with it.
All to say, with some resolve, and yes, luck, having your own roof over your head is not a far shot, it’s the genuine common case for most everyone. Maybe it takes time and work, and luck, and will, but there’s no place in world where it wasn’t generally the average person’s situation, as in, more likely than not.
Median is a type of average, tbh both mean and median wages are plenty in most developed countries - if you actually get that much. Which half or more than half of people don’t get, depending on which one you are using.
Not sure I agree, given how disproportionate housing costs are in many first world countries.
As an example, my brother makes well above the median income in the UK, but lives in an old camper van during weekdays because he can’t afford rent in the area where he works.
I also live in the UK and bought a house on minimum wage. Cheaper part of the south east but still costs a bit more than where I grew up in the south west.
Enough money to never work again, be comfortable, and live in isolation, preferably in the woods.
So about £25k? The problem is getting permission to live in the woods rather than the cost. Or if you buy a house already there with the woods it will cost millions.
I’m on year four of living in the woods. That 25k would have lasted about the first 4 months… Maybe. Infrastructure is expensive and carrying water from the creek to boil for use gets old fast.
Well it does depend on how you want to live there. If it’s closer to static van living then it can be very affordable.
8 hours of restful sleep.
I am doing everything to get 07:45 (5 REMs + 15m) or 09:15 (6 REMs +15m) a night. I take 15m to fall asleep. Sometimes I wake more refreshed some less, some days I can’t sleep because I am not tired even though I exercised and did tons of mental work on the day. It is very weird but still following that guideline helped tremendously
I’d do anything for a full 8 hours of sleep except go to bed early enough to get a full 8 hours of sleep.
Narcolepsy sleep test in less than a month 😵💫
I’ve only ever wanted 3 things in life, the fourth desire came later on.
Stability.
A loving relationship.
A stable, well paying job. (Not looking to be rich, just not relegated to renting illegal shitty apartments.)
My own home.
I’m turning 40 this year and I’ve gotten 0/4 so far…
Not sure if I have a well paying job or just standards low enough that it pays enough for me…
A fresh start somewhere around ~2-3 years ago with the mental help I needed at that time
Hi me. It’s never too late to try. I finally started getting the help I needed, and it was 2 years too late and after I already permanently ruined my chance at something really good that only happens once in a lifetime, but better late than never, right?
For myself: a fulfilling career
For the world: a better society where nobody is struggling to survive
I want the american tech industry to stop ruining the world.
My health back (post covid syndrome).
I also want that for you, buddy. Stay strong.
Unironically, money//stable income. Being piss poor has resulted a lower experience of life for us, every time we get some money it’s all spent on necessities we neglected for a long time due to not having income. We don’t want to be rich, but we do want to have a stable and reasonable income where we can save up for things we want and spend a reasonable amount on living.
In that sense it would only be reachable for us if we owned our own business, we’ve been thinking of opening a record shop (that also has cool collectibles/comics/etc stuffs) with an online shop and even sell some home made art stuff. Or get really big in our current business with art commissions. Regardless one way or another, there has to be a couch or a day bed where we can lay down for when our chronic pains flare up and we will be slay trans girl behind the counter 💅🏻 lmao.
