I think that the group of feelings we refer to as love can manifest in a variety of ways. Personally, I’ve had two long term relationships that were built on different kinds of love.
One was stable and secure, built on mutual trust and respect. We had fabulous communication, healthy conflict resolution, and a shared commitment to one another. There were also challenges that were bearable only because of that solid foundation.
On the other hand, I’ve experienced the passionate kind of love that gets glamorized in music and stories, or at least some degree of it. This is that falling feeling, passion, sexuality, and excitement. But that relationship was also somewhat unstable, so it was unfortunately an unsustainable feeling.
Both times, when the realization hit me that I had “fallen in love” (or developed a strong attachment, really) to this person, I was so overwhelmed and cried.
I don’t think one is necessarily preferable to the other. An intellectual connection, sexual chemistry, and shared goals are all more important to me than butterflies in my stomach.
Maybe not strictly unintentional, but I used to love watching Poppy’s YouTube channel. Her videos, especially the older ones, have pleasant ambient music and overdubbed vocals that definitely tickle the brain. The light satire is fun too, and some of the videos start to lean into the world of fashion. Her newer stuff is darker and heavier, less ASMR-like but still interesting.