Velma

Margaret Atwood - Cohabitation

Marriage is not
a house or even a tent

it is before that, and colder:

the edge of the forest, the edge
of the desert 
                    the unpainted stairs 
at the back where we squat 
outside, eating popcorn

the edge of the receding glacier

where painfully and with wonder
at having survived even
this far

we are learning to make fire

My dad picked up bow and arrow hunting for a few years. He never snagged a deer, but I’m sure he spent a lot of pleasant time smoking weed in the woods with his buddies.

My sister and I were chit chatting about our kids and their milestones, etc. Super normal type of conversation, especially for us since we don’t get along well to begin with and we try to stick to topics that aren’t inflammatory. The topic of what age we were when we started menstruating came up.

She stopped me mid-sentence in order to correct me about what age I was when I started my period. Not her age, she stopped me to correct my own retelling of my own personal history because “she remembered better”.

It was one of the only times I told her to her face that she was being rude.

Not only die, they love watching them be tortured and raped as well.

They could already have existing partners and wouldn’t be exclusive, but have an agreement to inform if there are new partners being added.

Also being exclusive is a more serious type of relationship than just friends with benefits imo.

How would they be exclusive if additional sex partners are allowed? It’s not an asking for permission scenario, it’s just keeping your partners informed of who is involved.

I’ve mostly done so for health reasons.

Nature walks this weekend with my kid! The rain is going to break and we’re gonna look at all the new spring blooms coming up :)

The US can pound sand. They lifted sanctions on Russian oil for India. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.

Tbf Trump has said a lot more about Greenland than 1 tweet.

This is such a bullshit statement. Blaming only Iran? Really?

Yeah I don’t think Trump’s obsession with Greenland is over.

I wouldn’t expect anything less tbh

The entire article is women sharing stories of being abused in a specific way and the men in here are clutching their pearls about having to read about it. So many “not all men” type comments.

I don’t care if you think I’m a drama queen. Women deserve to be heard.

When you reply to my comment:

Just because it’s a type of abuse that happens at lower rates than other types doesn’t mean it’s worthless to talk about. For these women, it is a very real occurrence that happened to them. Why not give them space to share their stories?

with an ‘lol’ and deflection, yeah, it feels scornful.

Just say you don’t want to hear about women’s abuse stories and be honest.

Alpine divorce may not have been the most popular way to describe these type of circumstances where a man leads his partner into the wilderness and abandons her to die before this tiktok trend, but its a term that has been around for a long time and there have been plenty of men who have taken these kinds of actions against their partners.

Facts don’t care about your feelings.

The available data still matters, and it is worth being careful with it. A study of hiking accidents in the Austrian Alps between 2015 and 2021 found that men accounted for 80.8 percent of fatal victims, while nonfatal accidents involved more women. Those numbers are obviously not enough to make “alpine divorce” a statistical category of its own. What they do show is that the term’s recent rise does not come from some newly discovered data point. It comes from stories that expose a relational blind spot that broad accident statistics are not very good at capturing.

Forums do not replace studies or court records, but they do bring back the scene before the tragedy—or far away from tragedy. They show the moment when someone realizes, too late, that the “we just have different paces” line they had heard for months was not really describing the situation. It was putting them in their place. That is why the term hits a nerve. The mountains do not create these power dynamics from scratch. They strip them down, speed them up, and sometimes make them impossible to ignore.

That may be why “alpine divorce” has landed so hard. The term is imperfect, but at least it makes one thing visible: the outdoors are not somehow outside society. Trails, ridgelines, approaches, and long descents do not magically wash social power dynamics away. They carry them with them. And when one person walks ahead and treats their own stride as the only measure of the world, that is not just a story about cardio. It is also a story about power.>>

I’m referring to bears, wolves, coyotes, and wildcats primarily. California is similar. There’s large swaths of the US that are still very much wilderness even if there is a human population nearby.

So yes, perhaps our different perspectives is what is putting us at such odds over what a big deal this is. I would be very upset at a man who is visibly pissed off at me but won’t communicate and keeps pushing ahead of me without saying what he wants.

I live in an area that is densely wooded and has many, many hiking trails of various difficulty. It is always taught here that you need to be aware and ready for danger on any hiking trail, no matter how popular.

Wild animals and falls are absolutely a thing that makes being in the wilderness more dangerous than say a soccer field as you used for an example.

I don’t think it’s ever ok to leave a hiking partner except in cases of emergency when there’s only 2 people in the group and especially not because one of those people is being a jerk and won’t explain why or what they’re feeling or want to do. The lack of communication from the men in these situations outlined by the article is astounding especially for those situations.

lol just a small note - yeah some upset boy has now gone through and downvoted most of my comments in our conversation while leaving yours alone.

Boys absolutely get upset at my views and go through my post history in a rage. At this point, I rather like it. It means I’ve gotten under their skin just for existing as an outspoken woman.

But yeah, Lemmy is overwhelmingly sending the message that they don’t want women here and it sucks.

These men that abandon their partner on hikes because they can’t properly express their own feelings should be publicly shamed.

Honestly I ended up enjoying our back and forth so thank you for the conversation. Apologies that I was initially a tad hostile - this particular comment thread has been nasty.