Edit: ironically, the last example (“alkylating agent itself”), despite sounding the most absurd, is actually probably the most feasible example to alkylate

The position of the drawn alkyl group seems to imply a bromonium, though, which is decidedly less easy to make.

Living things, on the other hand, conveniently have a bunch of cytosine and N-terminal proteins…

Alkylation is any reaction that attaches a saturated hydrocarbon group through one of its carbons to something else (more loosely, the hydrocarbon group may contain atoms besides H and C and only be saturated at the point of attachment). It’s pretty common in organic chemistry. The meme is portraying a humorous obsession with alkylation by listing alkylation agents and things the author wants to alkylate, including some unconventional or inadvisable targets.

Incidentally, a lot of alkylation agents are carcinogenic because they alkylate DNA.

Looks suburban; I don’t suppose the local law enforcement is supported by traffic and parking tickets? Just sayin, your incentives may align…