I already sent him one message this week!

Seriously though, this whole thing has me curious about the current state of things so I shot him a message asking about it. I’ll pass it along if he still needs the advice.

I’ve seen it online but it always looks like obvious interaction bait. Someone trying to get clicks and comments so they can be an influencer or similar.

My grandfather worked in NYC for over 20 years and he commuted by train. During those commutes, he sat next to the same man, twice a day - on the way there and on the way back - for years, and only once in at least a decade did they ever speak to each other. “Are you finished reading that?” Those were the 5 words that man spoke to my grandfather, who handed him the paper he had finished reading, and they never exchanged another word again. I don’t think they ever even looked at each other.

Best friend he ever had. They still never talk sometimes.

A psychopath that doesn’t want to make a habit of drinking at the house because they know it’ll become a problem but doesn’t want to interact with people because they’re going through shit? Possibly a psychopath that gets to drink for free because of the gear loan? A psychopath who wants to watch his gear and take it home with him rather than leaving it in a public place or with a group of drunk musicians overnight?

I don’t know what it is. I used to get approached semi-regularly, maybe once every few weeks when I was younger. But this dude, for whatever reason, was approached often. I think part of it is the places he was a lot of times. We’d be out at the bar (he would lend music/PA equipment to bands or small bars for a small fee and show up to basically drink for free) and there was one night I watched it happen half a dozen times. Not by the people who were borrowing equipment, but just random people who he didn’t know.

He said it never happened at like the grocery store or whatever, but very often in bars when he’d sit alone, less often in restaurants when he’d sit alone, and occasionally at the park when he’d go sit to read (headphones in). He’s good looking but not extraordinarily so and never looked especially friendly so that wasn’t it. It was both men and women, men more often but women more persistently.

Some folks just have something that makes others want to talk to them I guess. I imagine it’s worse for women for a few reasons (the way certain demographics of dudes are socialized, not knowing how a guy will react when you shut him down, etc). And some folks seem to believe that everyone is just waiting for them to strike up a conversation, even if the person they’re trying to strike it up with is obviously actively avoiding people.

It stopped happening to me. I’m not sure if I aged poorly over the pandemic or if I just look meaner these days. He moved away so I don’t get to watch that particular trainwreck anymore. I’ll have to ask him.

Story time! This isn’t here to say that dudes have it worse or just as bad or anything. It just made me think of this.

I have a good friend who wears wired earbuds often. He gets in a space where he doesn’t want to talk to anyone but he got to be out for one reason or other. I’ve watched person after person come up to him to talk. He rolls his eyes, takes out an earbud, make a huge show of pausing whatever he’s listening to while holding up the “Wait a second” finger. They’ll say whatever they’re trying to open with and he will nod and give the biggest fake smile. Then put his earbud back in. To continue the conversation they have to tap him again and wait for him to do it all over again. Some do, sometimes repeatedly.

Some people seem to have no concept that others aren’t just waiting for the chance to talk to them.

I haven’t stolen a street sign in about three decades but I’ll admit I’d seriously consider taking this one.

Money and time. I was on the grind for 20 years and poor as shit for the great majority of my life. I didn’t have the time to go do all the things I do now.

So I’m the middle aged guy riding a motorcycle, playing in bands, drinking too much in public as long as I’m not driving, going to every concert of nearly every genre I can get to…you know, living. I’m not in crisis, I’m having the time of my life. I’d say the last 8ish years have been the absolute most fun of my life.

I was mad when they got rid of our local Video Zone. That place had the best ridiculous horror movies. Blockbuster had only the most middle of the road bullshit.