I was walking along a scenic trail in my city a few years ago. This particular spot had a spectacular eastern view, so I stopped to take in the last of what seemed to be a spectacular sunset.

It took my moronic ass about 15 seconds to remember that the sun usually sets in the west. So what was that red orange glow on the horizon?

A wildfire? No, I’d have heard about that.

Must be a… Nuke? What else would make that much light that fast. It had blown and I was seeing the burning destruction in its wake.

I spent the next minute or so basically shitting myself. Trying to figure out which way the fallout would blow. Thinking about all the emergency drinking water and food I never stocked. Thinking how horrific a death radiation sickness would be.

I was straight up having a panic attack!

Well then the most glorious blood moon I ever seen came up over the horizon. Huge and glowing orange.

I learned a bit about myself that day. Mostly that I am unlikely to thrive in any sort of apocalypse type situation. And that I’m a moron. Moon was cool though!

Of all the conspiracy theories for someone to get stuck on, big foot ain’t bad. I have an uncle who’s a believer, and I just thank God it’s bigfoot and not q-anon, antivac, or something equally horrific.

You’ve never had smallpox.

You probably have never been hungry. Famine used to be a thing that just happened every ten years or so.

You’ve probably always had ready access to drinking water.

There’s always been wars, people doing terrible things. Slavery and genocide are pretty much par for the course whatever the ethnicity/region.

By most metrics this is the safest time to be alive.

But ya, shits pretty fucked still. So I say we all wake up tomorrow and try and do a little better.

Soundeses