My wife and I were in the market for a new car and she faught me pretty hard on the Minivan. We wanted to go with a Honda and we needed something with a 3rd row because of kids and family. So we were between the Pilot and the Odyssey. We went to the dealer and climbed around inside of each car and pressed all the buttons to get an idea of what they are like. As we were leaving she was like “God Damnit… I love the Odyssey”

And that’s how we became Minivan people.

Fellow Ody driver here. Image means nothing to me. My car is a utility to get my family from spot A to spot B. The Odyseey does that in the best possible way. It’s comfortable, roomy, I can slide seats around, put up or down the 3rd row. I can fit suitcases and bikes in the trunk at the same time. It gets pretty good milage, and it’s a Honda so it should easily get well over 200k miles with basic maintenence.

I got a really good deal on a one year old model with the Sport trim at the dealership that they couldn’t get rid of because it wasn’t “new” and therefore the interest was higher. I just got the loan through my wife’s union and that problem was solved.

It’s “Sonic Gray” with the black rims and details. I threw some big magnetic flame decals on the back quarter panels just to let people know how serious I am about appearances.

Sometimes when we are in a rush to get somewhere, I flip down my sunglasses and say “I’m engaging sport mode” and turn on the sport mode and use the paddle shifters.

I fuckin love this thing.

I don’t think the examples in the song are even a coincidence. Just unfortunate. Like… Rain on your wedding day?

“Though…the meta aspect of this is that a song called “Ironic” that misuses the word is actually…kinda ironic. Maybe that was the real artistry at work and we all just missed it. 🤷🏻”

Pretty sure this was intentional. A song named Ironic that doesn’t have any actual examples of irony is in itself ironic. That’s the joke.

WINAMP WINAMP WINAMP

It really whips the llama’s ass

I like to follow it up with:

“Someone’s dream”

“Living the dream” is sort of a sarcastic way of saying “not awesome”, and the follow up is a “but it could be worse” - kind of eases the tension a bit. Like “I’m hanging on by a thread, but I’m not starving or homeless, so all things considered, I’m doing fine”

It’s called Black Emperor and it’s awesome. It’s an “Indie Arcade Game” which is a thing that is starting to pop up, and I am here for them. I hated the direction that arcades were going in - which has been shitty phone games on gigantic touch screens.

Black Emperor is a game where you are a dude on a motorcycle, there is a throttle button, and the wheel to go up and down. The challenge is that the screen is moving along and you need to stay on it. Too fast, you die, too slow, you die. But you have to also stay on the path or you slow down. There are also dirt strips you need to boost through. It’s almost like a modern Excite Bike, but super challenging and awesome.

Oh, also the top front of the arcade cabinet has some big ass fans, and when you pick up speed they blow in your face. It’s sick.

You know what Fiat stands for, right?

Fix it again, Tony!

Putting your shopping cart up on the curb/grass at Costco.

Look. I know about the shopping cart return litmus test for humanity. And in my experience, at the average supermarket or shopping center or whatever, it’s usually not too bad. There are a couple of shit stains out there that leave their cart in a parking spot or anywhere else not returned.

But Costco? What the fuck is going on there? It’s like the wild-fucking-west. It’s lawless. I have seen people add to trains of carts stacked together in a parking spot. The curbs just have dozens of carts pushed up on them. It’s like some kind of broken window theory parking lot where normally decent people see the state of it and go “No order exists here, and I will treat it as such”

Return your fucking cart. It takes like 40 seconds max.

That rumor came up in his autobiography and he wrote -

“If I really got my ribs removed, I would have been busy sucking my own dick on The Wonder Years instead of chasing Winnie Cooper. Plus, who really has time to be killing puppies when you can be sucking your own dick? I think I’m gonna call the surgeon in the morning.”

Side note: Marilyn Manson is a peice of shit.

She’s been ordering water with her steaks, that’s for sure.