If you averaged out every serial killer, you end up with someone that is remarkably just like me. I’ve learned this isn’t a bit of trivia to mention during job interviews.

… but it’s a cracking ice-breaker on a first date!

No, it’s not as thick as that, but it’s thicker than tempura batter.

It’s a thinner batter - think tempura rather than chipshop fish (or corndog if you’re of the USian persuasion).

Accurate.

Source: I had one too. It eventually died when my mechanic told me: “that fucking fucker’s fucking fucked alright”. His boss translated that into “the repairs would cost more than the car is worth”.

Ah, yes, that also makes sense.

SW stands for Soft Wankers.

I remember a sports day at primary school (I’d have been about 8 years old for those who don’t understand ‘primary school’). There was a 1500m race. I was so last that the guy in 2nd last didn’t even know I was there and he gave up and started walking to the finish. I was still, just about, doing what I called running. My zombie-shuffle-run was faster than his walk! I could see him ahead of me. I would catch him before the line! I would overtake him! I would not be last for once!

Then the assembled parents noticed me. The bastards started cheering me on. The guy in front of me was clearly confused. Looked around. Saw the parents weren’t cheering him on. They were looking behind him. He glanced back. Saw me plodding after him. Urged his legs into a lumbering gallumph.

He beat me.

I was last again.

Fuck you for supporting me, you absolute shower of cunts!

Edit to reflect: I’m 59 and that memory is still clear as a bell in my head. Among other not so great ones…

Moon Moon would be more like: “Ima cooshun! Im comfy!”

God dammit, Moon Moon! Not again!