It’s not a childhood trauma thing. I had a decent upbringing. I’ve been like this all my life. I’ll talk about people using their name to others when the named person isn’t around, but I avoid using their name as a vocative to their face.
Same thing with people using my name. I don’t mind people summoning me by calling my name, but I cringe when people use my name as a vocative in front of me. I also get irritated when people I don’t know and have no intention of establishing a relationship with use my name.
I worked in a call center and we had the usual opening “thank you for calling _____ my name is early_riser, how can I help you?” I assumed the unspoken rule was that I’m giving my name so the client can later refer to me in complaints or commendations, not because I want to establish anything more than a client-employee relationship. Also, I always use “sir” or “ma’am” when addressing clients, and hope they reciprocate that respect.
Edit:
Yes I know what names are for. Also “angry” was too strong a word. I don’t lash out at people when they do this. I understand that people are trying to be friendly when they use my name and that the irritation is unwarranted, but it’s there and I want to know why.
I don’t think this is uncommon, but definitely varies in the level of discomfort caused… For me using a name is a degree of familiarity. My favorite people saying my name feels great. But in general I don’t like most of the social/sales “hacks” for speeding up the process of intimacy/social closeness.
“Keep my name out of your mouth”
Yeah I think it comes down to social deixis. I took Spanish calls as well as English. Spanish has a formal and informal “you” Usted and tú, respectively. I got the same irritated reaction when clients used informal pronoun and verb forms with me.
To be clear this irritation is completely internal. I understand it would be rude to snap at people who I know are just trying to be friendly. My awareness of how inappropriate this reaction is is why I made this post.