Hi everyone, I am writing this in hope to get some support. I have, quite literally, never lost a loved one. Yet.
I’ve been living with my partner for some time now, and we both take care of their cat. She’s the sweetest thing. They took her from the streets and they’ve done everything the vets ask. The poor cat was in a terrible state when they found it, but now over a year later she’s doing much better.
The problem is, the vets were always super upfront with this. She probably doesn’t have much time left. She had cancer and we had to have her ears amputated, but they said it was very likely to spread to other areas.
Recently we noticed her nose had the same stuff as her ears. And the only option is Chemo, which we agreed to not do it.
I know her death is inminent, and I am super scared. I’m gonna be heartbroken, but most importantly, my partner is gonna be as well. They have such a deep connections with animals, much stronger than anything I’ve ever felt or seen. I know our cat’s death won’t be “just a mascot passing away” for them.
So my question is, how do I support my partner when the time comes? How do I make sure that they don’t spiral into anything dangerous while making sure they keep up with uni? I’m very new to all of this. I’m not sure how impactful grieving is, I’m so scared :(
Guy who lost their mum here. So many people told me how I should and shouldn’t feel. It annoyed the crap out of me. Let them know that how they feel is absolutely a valid and understandable way to feel. Do not try to correct them or change how they are - just tell them they are loved and you are there for them.
And whatever you do do not make them feel like their sadness is an inconvenience to you. I got that thrown at me quite a bit and it made me feel so much worse and stalled any attempt at mourning.
I always try to validate their feelings as they often struggle with thinking their feelings are valid, so I will be sure to keep that up. Thank you