I am prepared to cry if need be

  • SharkWeek@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    17 hours ago

    That’s the sort of thing I only talk about with people who have earned my trust.

    One experience that I’m happy to share, however, is the best morning of my life. I met a girl who was way out if my league - I’m an androgynous looking lesbian who is far from pretty, and she was tall, feminine, and beautiful enough that she did occasional modeling work.

    When we met I was living in a caravan in a friend’s back garden, it was squalid - mouldy and cold. She still lived with her parents, who were very loving, and their house always felt calming and warm, but there was no space.

    Through a friend I found out about an abandoned house they’d spotted that looked in good condition, and on further inspection it was ideal - it still had water and power, but had been empty for a few years.

    Me and her moved in there with basically nothing. She got a second hand bed for cheap, we cleaned the kitchen and bathroom, and I fixed the shower, all in one day.

    I will never forget the feeling of waking up with her in my arms in our own bed, and knowing right through to my bones that I loved her completely. And she loved me back.

    We ate cornflakes with room temperature milk in bed, and talked about how we could do the house up and live happily ever after. We talked about adopting kids, and how I’d get a steady job. We made love. We ate cornflakes for lunch too, because that was all we had.

    It was magical.

    Just over a year later we moved out of that house, going in the different directions that our lives were taking us.

    I still love her with all my heart.

      • SharkWeek@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        8 hours ago

        Because sometimes love isn’t enough … she already had a steady job, and enjoyed partying and more than a modest amount of drug use.

        My previous girlfriend had died from an OD, and I desperately needed stability and to get away from illegal stuff because I felt like it was rotting me from the inside.

        She found someone else who didn’t want to tie her down, and I found a proper salaried job 200 miles away … ironically, working for the government.

        We were both happier, at least for a while.