I feel like crap all the time, and I’m running out of curt answers.
I don’t want to lie and say I’m good just because that’s what’s expected of me, but I don’t want to invite discussion into why I feel poorly.
My go-to response is “Living the dream,” because if this life is a dream I hope to wake up soon. Plus not only is it considered an acceptable answer, it can be played off as a joke.
If anyone needs extra context, being asked “how are you” is an extended part of the greeting here. The asker is really just saying hello still, and although some kind of answer is expected, they aren’t actually curious about your welfare. A genuine response throws people off balance, and is probably unwarranted. Think of coworkers, service workers, or even total strangers being asked this dozens of times a day.
Even the nurses ask that in an office where a majority of patients have crippling, often painful disabilities. lmao. Can’t escape it. I just mentally replace it with “hi” in my head and respond “decent, thanks” (“hello”). Or if I’m really struggling, I leave off the thanks.
I treat it as a real question in medical settings. In some cases it can be helpful information for a provider. Even in the worst case it says “I’m not here for pleasantries, I got problems and I’m here to address them”.
Even as someone who’s often bothered by the question, I’m fairly guilty of asking it myself, you’re right that there’s no escape.
My grandfather is quite ill, and his usual response is “as well as can be expected”
It’s so ingrained in conversational habits. I find myself really struggling for a greeting when I visit someone who I know is struggling or in pain. Like, I don’t want to force them to think about how they’re doing. But then I also don’t know what else goes after that initial “Hey”. v_v