It’s really hard for me to wrap my head around why it’s so easy for certain extremely online guys to hate women so much and so easily.
I encounter a little bit less of it on the fediverse but it’s not immune either. Yesterday on lemmy someone posted something making fun of women who get plastic surgery, and pointing out that they were being kinda misogynist* got a lot of replies about how men are the real oppressed class and you can never make jokes about women and other incel bullshit. No where is immune.
when you’re accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression
The gateway to hate is contempt, and the gateway to contempt is grievance, and grievance comes from externalizing blame for things not going the way you want and not having the character to deal with that properly.
The gateway to hate is contempt, and the gateway to contempt is grievance, and grievance comes from externalizing blame for things not going the way you want and not having the character to deal with that properly.
Very well said.
The incel mentality is, at its core, a victim mentality.
You have a guy that has undesirable personality traits, instead of normal community peer pressure to correct his behaviour, he finds 100s or 1000s of other douchbags on line to support his victimhood of not finding a date.
You’re not getting laid, one guy tells you to self reflect and change for the better, accepting your flaws and overcoming them. The next guy tells you that women are evil and only date attractive, rich and tall guys. What’s easier, self reflection or blaming women? They take the easier path. The more they do it, the more repulsive they become and they take that as evidence of the evil of women.
Supply and demand in dating social spaces, virtual or in person.
In person non-dating social interactions have been steadily declining.
When all the red pill shit first started coming out it was ironically more about self-improvement followed by pick up artist tacticts once you got your shit together.
Still misogynistic at the time and it just continues to get worse. Rather than put in the work to improve themselves, they’d rather go all handmaid’s tale.
Yeah, that’s a thing I still struggle with! Understanding how not being able to date turns them into misogynists. I guess it’s entitlement, but I can’t really relate to that in this case, so it’s hard to understand.
When they’re chronically online and immersed in social media and entertainment media, they’re surrounded by portrayals of happy couples, love, and romance. Eventually, it skews their perception into thinking that they’re the only ones who are missing out. They start to feel like life is unfair to them, with love and sex being out of their reach.
That grows into envy and hatred towards men who have experienced it, and especially those who have above-average success with their romantic lives. They compare themselves to those men, convincing themselves that the reason other people are more successful is because of superficial traits like conventional attractiveness or money.
While all that happens, they refuse to consider that their lack of success could be due to their own behaviors or negative attitudes. It’s always something else that is stopping them from experiencing love; their ego is protecting themselves from hurt, avoiding the necessary but painful introspection that would snap them out of it.
It culminates in the belief that both women and other men are the reason for their nonexistent love life. They become openly mysognistic, but they also think poorly about attractive men—they just don’t show it outside of incel communities because they’re afraid to get their ass beat.
And all of that was before this red pill shit. The red pill movement exacerbated it by catching them at various stages throughout their incelification process, affirming their beliefs, and then hooking them in further so shitbags like Andrew Tate can profit off of them.
I wonder if part of the issue is that we raise kids with a lot of platitudes like “don’t rush it, you’ll find someone” when the truth is not everyone does find someone and you’re not promised a life partner
It’s really hard for me to wrap my head around why it’s so easy for certain extremely online guys to hate women so much and so easily
same reasons people hate on immigrants etc
easy to blame others for your own inadequacies. Many years ago I spent a little time in /r/mgtow and was eventually banned. I’d sub’d in good faith and naively assumeed it was about betterment, and while their was a little of that, mostly jist blaming women.
I know some Arab girls who said to me that the Middle East has plenty of women and girl haters, but one thing they noticed was that when Western guys hate women, they REALLY hate women to extents that even major misogynists in the Middle East won’t touch.
I find that really easy to believe actually. The level of vitriol makes a lot of sense in places where women have some power. Why bother where they are powerless?
It’s really hard for me to wrap my head around why it’s so easy for certain extremely online guys to hate women so much and so easily.
I encounter a little bit less of it on the fediverse but it’s not immune either. Yesterday on lemmy someone posted something making fun of women who get plastic surgery, and pointing out that they were being kinda misogynist* got a lot of replies about how men are the real oppressed class and you can never make jokes about women and other incel bullshit. No where is immune.
when you’re accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression
The gateway to hate is contempt, and the gateway to contempt is grievance, and grievance comes from externalizing blame for things not going the way you want and not having the character to deal with that properly.
Very well said.
The incel mentality is, at its core, a victim mentality.
I like that explanation a lot, thank you.
You have a guy that has undesirable personality traits, instead of normal community peer pressure to correct his behaviour, he finds 100s or 1000s of other douchbags on line to support his victimhood of not finding a date.
You’re not getting laid, one guy tells you to self reflect and change for the better, accepting your flaws and overcoming them. The next guy tells you that women are evil and only date attractive, rich and tall guys. What’s easier, self reflection or blaming women? They take the easier path. The more they do it, the more repulsive they become and they take that as evidence of the evil of women.
I guess it’s easier than interrogating why you assumed in the first place you would get laid
Supply and demand in dating social spaces, virtual or in person.
In person non-dating social interactions have been steadily declining.
When all the red pill shit first started coming out it was ironically more about self-improvement followed by pick up artist tacticts once you got your shit together.
Still misogynistic at the time and it just continues to get worse. Rather than put in the work to improve themselves, they’d rather go all handmaid’s tale.
Yeah, that’s a thing I still struggle with! Understanding how not being able to date turns them into misogynists. I guess it’s entitlement, but I can’t really relate to that in this case, so it’s hard to understand.
It stems from a victim mentality, envy, and ego.
When they’re chronically online and immersed in social media and entertainment media, they’re surrounded by portrayals of happy couples, love, and romance. Eventually, it skews their perception into thinking that they’re the only ones who are missing out. They start to feel like life is unfair to them, with love and sex being out of their reach.
That grows into envy and hatred towards men who have experienced it, and especially those who have above-average success with their romantic lives. They compare themselves to those men, convincing themselves that the reason other people are more successful is because of superficial traits like conventional attractiveness or money.
While all that happens, they refuse to consider that their lack of success could be due to their own behaviors or negative attitudes. It’s always something else that is stopping them from experiencing love; their ego is protecting themselves from hurt, avoiding the necessary but painful introspection that would snap them out of it.
It culminates in the belief that both women and other men are the reason for their nonexistent love life. They become openly mysognistic, but they also think poorly about attractive men—they just don’t show it outside of incel communities because they’re afraid to get their ass beat.
And all of that was before this red pill shit. The red pill movement exacerbated it by catching them at various stages throughout their incelification process, affirming their beliefs, and then hooking them in further so shitbags like Andrew Tate can profit off of them.
I wonder if part of the issue is that we raise kids with a lot of platitudes like “don’t rush it, you’ll find someone” when the truth is not everyone does find someone and you’re not promised a life partner
Don’t get discouraged, engagement is the only weapon.
Thanks, that’s a good reminder <3
same reasons people hate on immigrants etc
easy to blame others for your own inadequacies. Many years ago I spent a little time in /r/mgtow and was eventually banned. I’d sub’d in good faith and naively assumeed it was about betterment, and while their was a little of that, mostly jist blaming women.
I know some Arab girls who said to me that the Middle East has plenty of women and girl haters, but one thing they noticed was that when Western guys hate women, they REALLY hate women to extents that even major misogynists in the Middle East won’t touch.
I find that hard to believe. You mean a place where women have no rights can be beat with no penalties if they are raped it is their fault.
I find that really easy to believe actually. The level of vitriol makes a lot of sense in places where women have some power. Why bother where they are powerless?
but women smell good.
?