I used to smoke a lot of weed.

When you think you’re on your last nugget/taco/whatever but you reach in the bag and actually have two more.

It’s probably a spokesperson or lawyer with access to his account, posting on his behalf to attempt to garner sympathy.

Idk if you’re just being a jerk or what but I’m gonna assume you’re being serious - the expectation might be the person trying to be responsible would say “that’s a stupid excuse” but instead they sit down and join the gaming person to stay warm. The joke is basically that the person chooses comfort over responsibility.

Great post, with one caveat

the closest thing to a definition we have for “vegetable” botanically is “literally all plant life and maybe also some fungi,”

I got my degree in Ecology and Evolution, and we always used a similar working definition but it was “edible parts of a plant which are not fruit.” So basically botanically, stems, roots, leaves, flowers, and all subvarieties of those are vegetables. Fruits are fruits. Fungi are fungi.